Spread the map on the table, with the coffee stain
Put your finger on the places, show me where you've been
Is that California, where your teardrops dried?
You drew a circle around Georgia, can you tell me why?
I see shoulda beens, coulda beens
Written all over your face (your face, your face)
Wrong turns and bridges burned
Things you wanna change
It's history
You can't rewrite it
You're not meant to be trapped inside it
Every tear brought you here
Every sorrow gathered
Yeah, it's history
And every mile mattered
Get the box off the top shelf, with the black and white
Snapshots of your old self, in a better light
Ghosts and regrets back again, I can see it in your eyes
Send them home, let 'em go
Don't you think it’s time? Yeah
It's history
You can't rewrite it
You're not meant to be trapped inside it
Every tear brought you here
Every sorrow gathered
It's history
And every mile
And every road and every bend
Every bruise and bitter end
All you squandered, all you spent
It mattered, it mattered
Mercy always finds a way
To wrap your blisters up in grace
And every highway you'd erase
It mattered, it mattered
But it's history
It don't define you
You're free to leave
It all behind you
Every tear brought you here
Every sorrow gathered
It's history
And every mile mattered
Every mile mattered
"I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." ~ phillipians 4:13
"You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in Your bottle.You have recorded each one in Your book." // psalm 56:8
"Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need."// hebrews 4:16
no matter where you have been, no matter what happened, no matter what happened to you, no matter what you wish you did or didn't do, no matter what you wish you said or didnt get to say or chose not to say, every mile you have covered in this life of yours mattered...the good, bad, difficult, horrible, confusing, exhilarating, joyful moments all mesh together in a way that has led you to be where you are now.
every
single
mile
you
have
travelled
mattered
and you my darling, you absolutly matter regadless of how yucky you feel sometimes. :)
ok, moment of truth, i am a sinner. i am not perfect and i won't pretend to be. i'm under a standard of grace, not perfection. as long as i'm in this physical body, my spirit and the carnal part of me will continue to fight to have control over me. i'm thankful for grace, truly. so because of grace[undeserved favor], i choose to intentionally walk with Jesus and not live in an unbroken pattern of sin.
confession. sometimes the sin nature in me takes over. and that's because i begin to focus on me, myself, leaving my heart unguarded for the enemy to throw parties in my heart of hearts. i can be really judgmental deep down, criticizing people in the chambers of my mind. and my excuse is that well, Jesus didn't say i can't acknowledge the faults of others, what He did say is that i shouldn't go fixing others when i have my own unresolved flaws. although this is true, i wonder why i'm so quick to see the flaws in others rather than the lovely in them. hm, Jesus is still working on this with me.
and when it comes to forgiveness, it can be such a struggle for me. i'm this super sensitive person who can sense the state of emotions and wrong vibes from people, but then again, i sometimes tend to read too much in between the lines. oh, and anger, i'm getting better with not letting the sun go down on it. and the love your enemies bit? urm, let's just say, not an easy one for me. more grace is needed here.
also, i'm realizing the sensitive bit of me makes me tend to withdraw from people more than i should. so i end being like an onion, all wrapped up in layers, sometimes with unnecessary walls around me. why? cause i do not want to get hurt. i do not want people to know my insecurities. and that leads me to being real picky of who i choose to hang around with. and i know all the layers and brick of walls i put around me may keep out pain, but it will keep out love too.
it's like i would want to be sure you're not going to hurt me before i open up to you. but there's no guarantee for this, right? and i know it's wise to be intentional in choosing godly close friends, but it doesn't mean i can't be friendly to others outside my circle of friends. oh, but how i like to only be with 'my kind of people', my kindred spirits who get me.
and other times i don't even want to be with my kindred spirits. i just want to be with me and Jesus. i crave lotsss of 'me time'. 'me time' is good, but i know, oh, i know, my crave for it can be a lil too much. i know unlike extroverts, i recharge on 'me-time' but i have to watch it so it doesn't over exceed and turn into a selfish habit. but with the help of my sweet Jesus, the self is making room for the Spirit and i'm learning to be more like Jesus, my Light.
this song really convicts me of the selfish me hiding, lurking in the corners of my being. i hope it convicts you too in the areas you struggle with.
in the light ~ anthem lights and jamie grace
i keep trying to find a life on my own apart from You
i am the king of excuses, i've got one for every selfish thing i do.
what's going on inside me? i despise my own behavior.
this only serves to confirm my suspicions
that i'm still a man in need of a Savior.
i wanna be in the light as You are in the light
i wanna shine like the stars in the heavens.
oh, Lord be my light and be my salvation
all i want is to be in the light
all i want is to be in the light.
the disease of self runs through my blood
it's a cancer fatal to me soul
every attempt on my behalf has failed to bring this sickness under control
honesty becomes me (there's nothing left to lose)
the secrets that did run me (in Your presence are diffused)
pride has no position (and riches have no worth)
the fame that once did cover me (has been sentenced to this earth)
"when Jesus spoke again to the people, He said, 'I am the light of the world. whoever follows Me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.' " john 8:12
"i do not understand what i do. for what i want to do i do not do, but what i hate i do. and if i do what i do not want to do, i agree that the law is good. as it is no longer i myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. for i know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. for i have the desire to do what is good, but i cannot carry it out. for i do not do the good i want to do, but the evil i do not want to do- this i keep on doing. now if i do what i do not want to do, it is no longer i who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it." romans 7:15-20
"if we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. if we claim we have not sinned, we make Him out to be a liar and His Word is not in us." 1 john 1:8-10
"so I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. for the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. they are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want." galatians 5:16-17
"put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. because of these, the wrath of God is coming. you used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. but now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips." colossians 3:5-8
"I[Jesus] am the vine, you are the branches. if you remain in Me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do nothing." john 15:5
"do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moths and vermin destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. but store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moths and vermin do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. for where your treasure is, there your heart will be also." matthew 6:19-21
"no one can serve two masters. either you will hate one and love the other, or you will be devoted to one and despise the other. you cannot serve both God and money." matthew 6:24
"but seek first His Kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." matthew 6:33
what are the things you struggle with? how is Jesus changing your heart?
It was one evening in December a couple of years back. I knelt
by my bed, poured out my heart to the designer of my soul. I cried for my
mistakes, the times I knowingly broke His heart. I surrendered for real. I rejoiced.
I felt peace.
You see, the testimony of the guy in church that evening had
done something. The power of God in his story reaffirmed my faith in Him and made
me open my mouth and really have a heart-to-heart talk with God. It was time to
let go of the parts of me that was still clutching to reason and logic. It was
time to dive fully, and wholly into this active, lively thing called faith.
I had confessed with my mouth and believed in my heart a
long time ago when I was just a little girl. But lukewarm took hold of me and
sadly it wasn’t cutting it, it wasn’t bringing that soul awakening I needed.
“So,
because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my
mouth.” Revelations 3:16
I took a step to
get plugged into a biblically sound church at the start of fall couple of years
ago. and over hundred days prior to the day I caved in and really surrendered,
something began to change. see, I was nursing a wounded heart, not totally
broken, but wounded still. I was getting over a huge crush that was not going
to end up into anything no matter how bad I wanted it to. It wasn’t what God
would want for me anyway. Oh, but how I hid it perfectly! or so I thought. Cos obviously
God knew, He saw my heart aching and placed a strong desire within to seek Him to fill the void, and not a human. At
the time, I didn’t really realize I was hiding the hurt, but it’s all so clear
now.
Too many things
were competing over my heart and i needed to focus already! I didn’t do a good
job of guarding my heart. How could I when I wasn’t intentionally following the
lead of the Master? when I wasn’t truly trusting Him? when I spoke and sang
about Him but yet some of my actions were wayyy out of line? It was like, God, I
love you but I don’t really trust you with certain aspects of my life cos you
seem to be really slow sometimes so I’m going to control those parts myself.
But God who knows
better and sees farther than I do, lovingly steered me towards the right route
after I got burned from wanting to do it my way. Sure, I was a good girl, but I
couldn’t say the same about intentional godliness. I liked to read my bible and
pray in my room and be good. Not necessarily
godly with all my actions. The catholic community I grew up in wasn’t
working for me. I cut church out for a while instead of seeking one that will
help nurture my soul. Oh well, but I went every now and then whenever a friend
invited me to a biblically sound church. but I didn’t stay cos I was still too
comfortable to awaken and grow like I should. + it didn’t quite feel like where
I should let my roots grow down deep.
“I urge you, brothers and sisters, to watch out for
those who cause divisions and put obstacles in your way that are contrary to
the teaching you have learned. Keep away from them.” Romans 16:17
In the span of my
life, i had dedicated myself a handful of times to God but I always felt too
comfortable as a baby in God to actually
grow. Like which serious Christian would be part of a club in college that
organizes parties where alcohol and profane music abound?! Funny thing though
is, I never made an appearance at those parties myself. Partying was/is not my
thing. I was more into the magazine side of the club, but still I’d hand out
fliers advertising the parties. (I was so lame, I know) I was just not
consciously bringing Jesus into all of me, my hobbies and entertainment; the
songs, the movies, the books, the crowd around me.
“as
newborn babes, desire the pure milk of the word, that you may grow thereby, if
indeed you have tasted that the Lordisgracious.” 1 peter2:2-3
And while the
summer of two years back was fun, it was wounding too, in a way that left you
staring at the door when it’s shut real hard right in your face. I got too
attached when I shouldn’t have. And maybe I needed that wound like cold water
poured over me in bed, to rouse, to wake
up! and find that I am cherished and loved regardless of who left. And thankfully, I did rouse. Gradually, I felt
the strong tugging of God on my heart. Staggeringly, I found my way to His
house, decided to embrace the fellowship I badly needed, and fixed my feet in
His Word.
“Jesus answered,“I amthe wayand the truthand the life.No one comes to the Father except through me.” John 14:6
I became aware of how far off the bend I had
gone and began a hot pursuit of the only one who’s capable of saving me from
myself and my weaknesses. Jesus. The
one who loves me unconditionally, accepts me as I am, and all the while
encouraging me to grow and thrive in Him. It seems like it’s when we fall apart
that we find Him, right? I think He needed me to acknowledge the crack within
me and allow His light to get in and begin the healing process. And boy, was I glad
to admit I needed His touch and longed for His presence!
Am I some perfect
girl now? Absolutely not! I’m still just a girl, but one who has firmly
grounded herself in her true identity, the daughter of the King, who is loved
and forgiven immeasurably. The girl who isn’t intentionally abusing the grace
of God and who lives like she has been redeemed at a costly price. I still make
some mistakes but I’ve refused to live in an unbroken pattern of sin.
“For to be carnally mindedis death, but to be spiritually mindedis life
and peace.” Romans 8:6
"Brethren, I do not count myself to have apprehended; but one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind and reaching forward to those things which are ahead,I press toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus." philippians 3:13-14
I posted this blog a year ago, but for some reason the link got broken and i couldn't seem to fix it. So, i decided to re-post it. enjoy.
Have you ever read a book and enjoyed it so much you became sad that it
had to come to end? It’s like you’ve become a part of the story and
leaving the scene is hard for you because you want it to roll on for
your continued enjoyment. Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller
is one of such stories.Somewhere in early December last year, I was
looking up Christian books I could put on my to-read list, and I came
across Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It had good reviews and I
found out it was even turned into a movie so I got convinced it must be
good. Around Christmas I was looking for some good music on Noisetrade
when I stumbled on a free audio version of Don’s book, Through Painted Deserts. Was I thrilled? You bet! I mean although Blue Like Jazz was what I was bent on reading, I was like why not give this a listening ear? After all it’s by the same author and if Blue Like Jazz is good, chances are Through Painted Deserts also is. Was I wrong? No!
In fact I’ve fallen in love with the
book, seriously! (Sorry I had to scream that.) This is more like say, a
short, informal review of the book with a bunch of my favorite quotes
from it.
Through Painted Deserts
is a memoir that takes you on a journey into how the author found the
meaning of why God made us, his beloved creation... about changing,
faith, finding light, friendship and beauty on the open road. It’s very
touching and warms your heart in the right places. Oh, and the soothing
voice of Don reading the book adds such calm and peace to the story
itself.
It’s a
book I will recommend for everybody especially those whose faith in God
is a bit shaky and who doubt the goodness and beauty of God, people who
wonder or doubt if God ever listens to their prayers and people who may
need to leave their comfort zones and everything behind to go on an
adventure to get a better perspective of life. It’s a book for people
who get so caught up with life and forget there’s a big world out there
full of the calmness and peace of God, people who don’t stop to enjoy
the big, blue sky, people who don’t stop to breathe and experience the
soothing nature, the works of God’s hands. Although we have to
participate in life and go about our duties in order to survive, we need
to take breaks every now and then to get away from the pressures and
noise of it all and just enjoy God.
Considering I’m a ''small'' town kinda
girl in this little country, Ghana, this book encourages me personally
to venture out from my all too familiar surroundings to somewhere new,
somewhere that’ll give me a new and beautiful perspective about life and
God. I so want to leave, to venture out and experience and enjoy the
magnificence of God somewhere away from where I call home, sharing His
truth and forging beautiful friendships along the way... and I’m
trusting God with that. I want to experience Him in canyons, on
mountains, in deserts, in falling snow, in the falling of red autumn
leaves, on beautiful beaches, on islands, on the open road... in
different cultures. Nature has such an endearing way of reminding me not
just of the greatness of God and the beautiful works of His hands but
it also affirms that God really does exist.
So
here are some quotes I totally love from the book. They’re like urm,
spoilers of a good movie. LOL They’re quite a number but you can’t
resist such lovely words that speak straight to your heart, right?!
Haha, here goes:
“Every
person has to leave, has to change like the seasons. They have to or
they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing and I want to
change because it’s Gods way.”
“Everybody
has to change or they expire. Everybody has to leave their homes and
come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.”
“I
want to keep my soul fertile for the changes so things keep getting
born in me, so things keep dying when it’s time for things to die.”
“I
want to repeat one word for you. Leave. Roll the word around on your
tongue for a bit. It’s a beautiful word, isn’t it? So strong and
forceful, the way you’ve always wanted to be. And you’ll not be alone.
You have never been alone. Don’t worry, everything will still be here
when you get back. It is you who would have changed.”
“No, life can’t be understood flat
on a page, it has to be lived, a person has to get out of his head, has
to fall in love, has to memorize poems, has to jump off bridges into
rivers, has to stand in an empty desert and whisper sonnets under his
breath.”
“It’s a
living book, this life. It folds out in a million settings, cast with a
billion beautiful characters and it’s almost over for you. It doesn’t
matter how old you are. It’s coming to a close quickly and soon the
credits will roll and all of your friends will fold out of your funeral
and drive back to their homes in cold, in still, in silence and they’ll
make a fire, pour some wine and think about how you once were and feel a
kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.”
“And
so my prayer is that your story would have involved some leaving and
some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out
like children in a play. My hope is that your story will be about
changing, about getting something beautiful born outside of you, about
learning to love a man or a woman, about learning to love a child, about
moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about
learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning
oneness as a way of understanding God.”
“Everything
is like a symphony if you think about it; birds are perfect and
crickets come out of the wet woods like a choir...nature itself worked
perfectly to calm the soul.”
“Life is a dance toward God... and
the dance is not so graceful as we might want. While we glide and swing
our practiced sway, God crowds our feet, bumps our toes, and scuffs our
shoes.”
“There
is nothing I’m missing. I have everything i was supposed to have to
experience the magnitude of this story, to dance with God.”
“I
guess I’m looking for what any guy is looking for. I want a companion,
you know. Just someone to share life with. I want her to be my biggest
fan and i want to be her biggest fan too. I want us to raise kids in a
home where they know their parents are in love with each other, with
them, and with God. I guess that’s all I want.”
“I
want a friend, a true friend. Someone who knows me and loves me anyway.
Like, when I’m through putting my best foot forward, she’s still
there.”
“Real love doesn’t ask “what’s in it
for me?” It just gives unconditionally, it just tries to take the
weight out of somebody else’s pack, lessen his load and if it gets
reciprocated, that’s great, but that isn’t what you did it for.”
“Don’t kick yourself around, if you can’t climb up out of a canyon real quick, just do it slow.”
“God
made a whole beautiful earth and decided to put you in it, to
experience all of this beauty. You can’t do that watching television all
the time.”
“Life is not a story about me, but it’s told to me and I can be glad of that. I think that’s the why of life...to enjoy God.”
“Months
ago I would have told you life was about doing, about jumping through
religious hoops, about impressing people and my actions would have told
you this is done by buying possessions or keeping a good image... but I
don’t believe in that stuff anymore. I think we’re supposed to stand in
deserts and marvel at how the sun rises. I think we’re supposed to sleep
in meadows and watch stars dart across space and time. I think we’re
supposed to love our friends and introduce people to the story, to the
peaceful, calming why of life. I think life is spirituality.”
“If I ever get frustrated with life
again, if I ever get into river deep debt, I will sell it all and move
out into the woods, find some people who aren’t like me and learn to
love them and do something even harder, let them love me. I will sleep
beneath the stars and whisper “thank You” to the Creator of the universe
as a way of reacquainting myself to an old friend, a friend who says
you don’t have to be smart or good looking or religious or anything, you
just have to cling to Him, love Him, need Him, and listen to Him while
He tells His story.”
“Some
things have to end, you know. I will be leaving soon and i want to feel
this, really understand that it’s happening because God breathed some
spark into mud that became us and He did it for a reason and I want to
feel that reason, not some false explanation.”
"And if these mountains had eyes,
they would wake to find two strangers in their fences, standing in
admiration as a breathing red pours its tinge upon earth's shore. These
mountains, which have seen untold sunrises, long to thunder praise but
stand reverent, silent so that man's weak praise should be given God's
attention."
"It's a wonder that those exposed to such beauty forfeit the great questions in the face of this miraculous evidence."
“I
think again about this small period of grace, and thank God for it,
that if only for a season I could feel the why of life, see it in the
metaphor of light, in the endlessness of the cosmos, in the miracle of
friendship. And had these mountains the ability to reason, perhaps they
would contemplate the beauty of humanity and praise God for the miracle
that each of us is, pondering the majesty of God and the wonder of man
in one bewildering context. Their brows are rumpled even now and their
arms are stretched toward heaven.”
Whew! (That’s a good whew, LOL) I’ve come to the end of the lengthy but lovely quotes from Through Painted Deserts.
It’s such a good read and I love how the acoustic guitar plays in the
background at the end of the final chapter. It ends on such a beautiful
note that it even gets me teary-eyed (In a very good way.) I hope you
enjoyed them and that you’ll read the book or better still get the free
audio version right here.
It’s a good read (have I mentioned that already) and you could listen
to the audio book (all twenty-seven chapters) in a day. I personally
didn’t want to consume all the yummy goodness in one day so I chose to
listen to it in bits, over a number of days to let it all sink in. God
bless Don’s kind heart for giving it away for no cost and for allowing
others to go along on the journey with him through the mind’s eye. He
sure has a way with words and he writes from a place of honesty and
truth.
People
travel all the time. Probably you do or you currently are. What I’m
beginning to realize is that you could travel the entire world and it
wouldn’t really mean anything until you travel with meaning, with the
knowledge that God created all these magnificent things in life. Traveling should awaken us to the wonder of God and rekindle our love for Him.
It should involve loving and sharing God’s truth to the people we meet
along our journeys. Let’s always remember what Jesus said “And you
shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your
soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is
this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other
commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30,31 In our everyday
living, we should not lose focus on loving God and people. And if you
love people, you would want to share God’s truth with them so that they
get saved. So travel to enjoy God and love people along the way!
:)
Exactly a
year ago was when my passion for following Christ ignited. Well, before that I
was Christian, but an average one at that. I wasn’t really growing like I
should until I decided to really get serious with God. I mostly grew up
Catholic and church was more of a ritual thing than a hunger for the Word or
for fellowship. Honestly, I barely went to church when I was a teenager.
Sometimes in a year, I went like four or five times in total, including the
popular Christmas/New years eve services when the “prodigals” made sure not to
miss. Lol But don’t judge me yet.
After senior
high school, the Catholic church wasn’t however satisfying my hunger for Christ
and as I grew up, I began to question some of the doctrines of the Catholic
church. Let’s just say I couldn’t trace some of it’s teachings in the Bible and
that wasn’t cool with me. At all. So, I kinda wasn’t going to church at all. I
convinced myself that it was ok to stay home on a Sunday morning and read my
Bible, pray and listen/watch a couple of preaching on the radio/TV. Wrong. I
was just not interested in church and came up with a thousand excuses for not
going. A funny but not so funny excuse was that I didn’t have enough church
clothing. And I would go like ‘I don’t really go to church but I’m still a good
person, so what’s the big deal?’ In the early part of Uni, I would go sometimes
when a friend invites me anyway but I preferred my ‘solo church’ in my room.
Yeah, I was that kind of person. My two man church (me and the preacher on the
radio/TV) worked for me just fine, or so I thought. No commitment, no drama
with church people. Great. I was wrong.
Fast forward
to the start of my final year in Uni. Before I went to school for my final
year, I went for a program at my current church. It’s a yearly thing the church
runs, called the Singles Summit. I heard of it all the time but I never
bothered to go. So last year August, I don’t know how I stuck with the plan to
go, but I ended up going. And I’m thankful I did. Oh, the wisdom I gained! Ok,
back to my story. So after that, I was hooked! I told myself I was going to
fellowship there. And I still do till today, since last September. The reason
being that the teaching is Biblical. It’s convicting. Not watered down. My
church is really helping me grow, honestly. And by some divine ‘coincidence,’ a
year later, I’m now a steward in church. (I began this month!) *happy dance*
It’s such a humbling thing to serve in God’s house. I’m learning to embrace all
the beautiful changes God Himself is bringing into my life, including the
responsibilities and sacrifices that come with serving Him. I’m very thankful
to God. He has a way of making things better. Way better.
“So those who received his word were
baptized, and there were added that day about three thousand souls. And they
devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching and fellowship, to the breaking of
bread and prayers.” Acts 2:41,42
I totally
love my new, (urm, not so new now) church. I’m warming up to the importance of
fellowship these days. And I’ve learnt that although listening to preaching on
the radio is not bad, it shouldn’t replace the time set for fellowship, like on
a Sunday morning. It should be more like a supplement. I’m learning. I’m
growing up. And I pray I continue that way. I mean that’s what life is about
right? Growing, improving, repenting and moving on.
“And let us consider how to stir up
one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the
habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day
drawing near.” Hebrews 10:24,25
So, my point
for this important rant? It’s essential to fellowship with a church whose
teaching is firmly built on and traceable to the Word of God. Yeah, no funny
business allowed, no people-pleasing teachings. The teachings should help you
improve and be more like Christ. It should help you discover the purpose God
created you and passionately pursue that purpose for the greatness of His
kingdom. And we basically need fellowship to encourage us and to stay
accountable to one another.
I pray you
don’t waste anymore time in making up your mind about going to church,(the
right kind) and not just going, but being changed by the Word too.
Hi dearies,
I trust you are doing great! This one is a lil on the lengthy side cos its
filled with so much yummy goodness. So grab a drink, get comfy and read on. ;)
A few
Sundays back I was enjoying my walk from the junction of my University to my
hostel after church service when I heard a car honk and someone called out to
me. I turned my head sideways and saw this guy driving a beat up truck slowing
down and smiling and asking me to come over for a ride. I gave him a wan smile
and said I was alright walking cos I was almost at my hostel anyway. But he
insisted and didn’t seem to give up so I said to myself, what could it hurt...
I get to save some energy and sweat from walking under the glaring rays of the sun.
So I crossed over to the other side of the street and got in the truck.
He was
extremely friendly and started asking ‘’getting to know you’’ questions. From
that short conversation however, I immediately got to know the type of guy he
was. I mean which morally upright guy starts steering the first convo towards
such things as ‘kissing’??? SMH Like dude, you even know I’m coming from
church! But of course he had no shame. He was actually candid about telling me
he is naughty! **alarm bells ringing** SMH some more.
At the car park of my hostel, he asked for my
digits and I nicely told him nahh, I don’t give my number out to guys who have
no problem saying the kind of things he said. He insisted and insisted and I
kept saying NO. I could tell I had bruised his ego big time cos he said he’s
the type who doesn’t take no for an answer, but oh well I hope I’m the first to
prove him wrong. He might have thought I was kidding and just playing a lil
hard to get or something, but I didn’t mince my words. When my NO started to
sink into his carnally clouded mind, he eventually stopped shoving his huge
phone into my face. I got down and politely thanked him for the ride and walked
away to my room with such dignity spurring in my heart.
I must have
really taken him by surprise because after I climbed up the stairs to my room,
I noticed from my window he was still packed outside. I found that odd because
he had told me he doesn’t attend my school and that he was visiting his brother
at one of the hostels at the other side of campus. So I began to think that
what if he was just waiting to see which balcony I step out on so that he
traces my room? I thought fast and quick and decided not to go to the balcony
until he drove away. I mean I don’t want him stalking me and probably hurting me
or something cos I turned him down. LOL So I did the wise thing of staying
inside until I don’t even know when he drove his beat up truck away.
I bet he
thought I’m one of those girls who just go to church but live in an unbroken
pattern of sin. You know, those girls who flash their Bibles around but never
really read it and live it. There
are too many ‘Christians’ out there who are lukewarm and live a double life.
SMH No wonder he thought I was one of them. Wrong move bro, wrong move. He
probably calls himself a Christian too...what a shame! And I didn’t want to
bother giving him my number because he’s obviously company I do not want to
have. I do selective friendships and relationships. I’m friendly to all but I
don’t let just anybody in my space. He clearly didn’t have any respect for me
and didn’t deserve my time.
“So, because you are
lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.”
Revelations 3:16
“No man can serve two
masters; for either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to
one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” Matthew 6:24
When did it become ok for a guy to make
suggestive moves to a lady especially in their very first conversation? I’m not
some booty call. I know my worth and I have Godly standards that I honor.
Because let’s be real, if I had gone against my standards and given my number
to him, I would have ended up ignoring his calls and eventually blocking his
number because it’s so obvious what he wanted from me. I don’t want any
carnally filled guy blowing up my phone. It was simpler to avoid all that by
saying a firm NO! At the end of it all his friendliness meant nothing really to
me because the intentions behind them were thwarted and ungodly and his attempt
to sound all sophisticated didn’t fool me either.
“Do not be deceived:
“Bad company ruins good morals.”” 1 Corinthians 15:33
Saying NO
does not mean you’re rude and snobbish, it simply means you know who you are
and you know who and what you don’t associate with. I prefer to be called rude by men for doing the things that please God
than to be praised by men for doing what displeases God. We should learn
how to say NO without sounding apologetic. If the person had no shame asking
for whatever it is he/she is asking with ungodly intentions, then why should I
feel guilty or ashamed to say NO?! If a guy has no shame wanting to fornicate
with you, you should absolutely not hold back in telling him NO! Let your no,
be no dear friends. Say it firmly without being aggressive. Say it because you
really mean it.
“So you will walk in
the way of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright
will inhabit the land, and men of integrity will remain in it.” Proverbs
2:20,21
Say NO to
that guy who only wants to get into your pants and end up messing you up. Say
NO to negative peer pressure. Say NO to ungodly friendships and relationships. Say
NO to all the worldly parties and clubbing. Say NO to the songs that get you sexually aroused and make you have
lustful desires. Say NO to the sinful thoughts that work their way into
your mind. Say NO to the perversion the media displays. Choose not to
watch/listen to any of it. Say NO to the
pornographic films you hide and watch! Fill your mind with the Word of God,
ponder over it and you’ll be able to discern good from bad and wrong friends
from Godly friends. I get tempted alright, but by keeping the Word in my heart and obeying God, I escape temptations.
Sometimes it’s really really tough but I pull through. You see, the Word fills
you up and helps you to live Godly... By all means be friendly, but you have to
stop being too friendly and too polite by saying yes to everybody and the
ungodly intentions they may have for you.
“Above all else, guard
your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23
“For the grace of God
has appeared for the salvation of all men, training us to renounce
irreligion and worldly passions, and to live sober, upright, and Godly lives in
this world.” Titus 2:11,12
If your
friendliness is causing you to sin, then you have to watch it! Filter
everything/anybody that comes your way. Your life and body should be a dedication
to God. Stop allowing just anything/anybody into your life. Your NO will
attract rather nasty and unpleasant comments/responses sometimes or even most
of the time, but that’s okay. Just hold your head up high, remember who you’re
living for and continue walking in obedience to the Word.
“And if your right hand
causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one
of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” Matthew 5:30
“Indeed all who desire
to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”2 Timothy 3:12
I
continually pray for God’s strength to grace my life to have the will to say NO
to ungodliness. Saying okay to ungodliness will lead you right into sin. My
dear, please be strong in the Lord, ok? Respect yourself enough to steer clear
from compromising situations. Surround
yourself with spiritual minded people, not carnal minded people. Be around
people who build you up in Christ, people who want to help you live a pure life
for God. I know such Godly people are hard to come by these days. Tell God you
need Godly friendships. Be a Godly friend yourself, and you’ll attract Godly
friendships into your life.
Dear friend,
I want you to mull over the verse below. Think of all your friendships and
relationships and all the things you do in your life and ask yourself if they
urge you on to bear the fruits of the Spirit or otherwise. If they constantly
lead you to sin, then my dear, you need to weed them out of your life, because
they are not helping your walk with the Lord.
“Now the works of the
flesh are plain; fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity,
strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy,
drunkenness, carousing and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that
those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of
the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness,
gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to
Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Galatians
5:19-24
Please put a
Godly value on yourself and let your NO, be NO! Jesus loves you wayyyy too much
for you to continue hurting Him by giving in to sin. :) XOXO
