music monday// here i am anyway

Hi guys! so I sorta promised to be back to tell ya'll abut the depression thing. ok, so for starters enjoy this song. it leads to bits of the story I need to tell.

via

here I am anyway // josh wilson

I'm like Moses in the desert
When that bush went up in flames
You said, "Go and tell your story"
He said, "God, what will I say?
I'm so scared, unprepared
What difference will I make?"
Sometimes I feel the same

                                                                                                                                                                              If it's weakness that You want
I've got more than enough
But some days I am so afraid
To show this world your love
But I'll give You all of me
And my insecurities
God, I don't have what it takes
But here I am anyway
Here I am anyway
God, I've got so many questions
Wonder why You placed me here
You have given me these passions
But they come with so much fear
Sometimes it don't make sense at all
But I guess if I was brave
Then I wouldn't walk by faith   

If it's weakness that You want
I've got more than enough
But some days I am so afraid
To show this world your love
But I'll give You all of me
And my insecurities
God, I don't have what it takes
But here I am anyway
Here I am anyway
 

 If You say go (If You say go, if You say go)
I won't say no (I won't say no, I won't say no)
If You say go (If You say go, if You say go)
I won't say no (I won't say no, I won't say no)
 

'Cause it's weakness that You want
That's how You show Your love
Your power is made perfect
When we are not enough
 

If it's weakness that You want
I've got more than enough
But some days I am so afraid
To show this world your love
But I'll give You all of me
And my insecurities
God, I don't have what it takes
But here I am anyway
Here I am anyway
Here I am anyway, anyway
Here I am anyway, anyway

This song by Josh Wilson is my jam! Especially during the wilderness years of my life after service. You see, the plan was to snag a scholarship abroad for masters right after my one year national service. But it so didn't happen that way. Father had been telling me many times about His purpose for me to teach and be in ministry but I was like nah, abroad is more lit! (not to say that if you want to go abroad for studies it's bad. Absolutely not! Just be sure if that's where God wants you to be. We all have different journeys). 

So back to the story. I could literally not wait to say goodbye to these streets of broken promises of ghana and start over somewhere far, far away. So of course, I gave many excuses about why teaching is not not not my thing.

I told God :
I'm shy so I can't handle being in front of a class.
I look way too young for my age and the kids will bully me.
It's not what I want to do.
I don't like it.
The money ain't great.

So God being who He is, He allowed me to wander around for a couple of years, searching for a job I thought I'd like (far from teaching) and depression set in along with some crazy accusations and betrayals.   

Then, after a couple of years, He mercifully presented me a chance to teach. I had applied for masters at Uni of Ghana{my alma mater} so I was like, ok since the results ain't in, lemme just do this teaching thing for the meantime and move on to do the masters when I slay the entrance interview and exam.

And slay I did. But the interesting thing is, by the time my admission was in, I loved teaching so much I decided to defer! I know, sounds crazy...

But that's what happens when God leads you to walk in the purpose He designed you for. You might think you're not cut out for it, yet He still tells you to trust Him and obey. Cos He knows you better than you know yourself. He's awesome like that! 

And the abroad plans? Well this is where Father has me now, and I'll bloom right where He's planted me until He tells me to move. I'm glad the Norwegian quota scheme and all the scholarships bounced me cos I'd rather be walking in purpose. Who would have thought I'd come to love these streets of broken promises?! I can't quite believe it sometimes! 

The time I spend teaching the kids and getting to know their sweet hearts is so fulfilling that I don't regret or second guess letting go of my masters for now. He's actually leading me to do something different related to teaching/ministry for further studies. Whaaaaaat?????!!! Mind blown!!! This can't be me. This can't be the same ol' Genevieve! This can only be Jesus!

   

Like moses, we all feel inadequate sometimes concerning what God is telling us to do. But obeying Him is so worth it, I promise! Ask our good, good Father if what you're doing is what He's told you to do. If it is, carry on, Love warrior. If not, please obey. 

And turns out I'm not even that shy like I thought. I'm not nervous when I'm teaching, it's like I've been doing it forever. And the kids do NOT bully me! And God is taking care of me each day. #winning. & abroad? yeah it's lit alright. But my purpose right here, right now is more lit cos I'm abiding in the will of my Daddy.

Okay, I'm done telling you my life story. Carry on with your life.

    

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

xoxo,

gen delali

Learning To Say NO!

Hi dearies, I trust you are doing great! This one is a lil on the lengthy side cos its filled with so much yummy goodness. So grab a drink, get comfy and read on. ;)

A few Sundays back I was enjoying my walk from the junction of my University to my hostel after church service when I heard a car honk and someone called out to me. I turned my head sideways and saw this guy driving a beat up truck slowing down and smiling and asking me to come over for a ride. I gave him a wan smile and said I was alright walking cos I was almost at my hostel anyway. But he insisted and didn’t seem to give up so I said to myself, what could it hurt... I get to save some energy and sweat from walking under the glaring rays of the sun. So I crossed over to the other side of the street and got in the truck.

He was extremely friendly and started asking ‘’getting to know you’’ questions. From that short conversation however, I immediately got to know the type of guy he was. I mean which morally upright guy starts steering the first convo towards such things as ‘kissing’??? SMH Like dude, you even know I’m coming from church! But of course he had no shame. He was actually candid about telling me he is naughty! **alarm bells ringing** SMH some more.

 At the car park of my hostel, he asked for my digits and I nicely told him nahh, I don’t give my number out to guys who have no problem saying the kind of things he said. He insisted and insisted and I kept saying NO. I could tell I had bruised his ego big time cos he said he’s the type who doesn’t take no for an answer, but oh well I hope I’m the first to prove him wrong. He might have thought I was kidding and just playing a lil hard to get or something, but I didn’t mince my words. When my NO started to sink into his carnally clouded mind, he eventually stopped shoving his huge phone into my face. I got down and politely thanked him for the ride and walked away to my room with such dignity spurring in my heart.

I must have really taken him by surprise because after I climbed up the stairs to my room, I noticed from my window he was still packed outside. I found that odd because he had told me he doesn’t attend my school and that he was visiting his brother at one of the hostels at the other side of campus. So I began to think that what if he was just waiting to see which balcony I step out on so that he traces my room? I thought fast and quick and decided not to go to the balcony until he drove away. I mean I don’t want him stalking me and probably hurting me or something cos I turned him down. LOL So I did the wise thing of staying inside until I don’t even know when he drove his beat up truck away. 

I bet he thought I’m one of those girls who just go to church but live in an unbroken pattern of sin. You know, those girls who flash their Bibles around but never really read it and live it. There are too many ‘Christians’ out there who are lukewarm and live a double life. SMH No wonder he thought I was one of them. Wrong move bro, wrong move. He probably calls himself a Christian too...what a shame! And I didn’t want to bother giving him my number because he’s obviously company I do not want to have. I do selective friendships and relationships. I’m friendly to all but I don’t let just anybody in my space. He clearly didn’t have any respect for me and didn’t deserve my time.

“So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.” Revelations 3:16

“No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” Matthew 6:24

 When did it become ok for a guy to make suggestive moves to a lady especially in their very first conversation? I’m not some booty call. I know my worth and I have Godly standards that I honor. Because let’s be real, if I had gone against my standards and given my number to him, I would have ended up ignoring his calls and eventually blocking his number because it’s so obvious what he wanted from me. I don’t want any carnally filled guy blowing up my phone. It was simpler to avoid all that by saying a firm NO! At the end of it all his friendliness meant nothing really to me because the intentions behind them were thwarted and ungodly and his attempt to sound all sophisticated didn’t fool me either. 

“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”” 1 Corinthians 15:33

Saying NO does not mean you’re rude and snobbish, it simply means you know who you are and you know who and what you don’t associate with. I prefer to be called rude by men for doing the things that please God than to be praised by men for doing what displeases God. We should learn how to say NO without sounding apologetic. If the person had no shame asking for whatever it is he/she is asking with ungodly intentions, then why should I feel guilty or ashamed to say NO?! If a guy has no shame wanting to fornicate with you, you should absolutely not hold back in telling him NO! Let your no, be no dear friends. Say it firmly without being aggressive. Say it because you really mean it. 

 

“So you will walk in the way of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will inhabit the land, and men of integrity will remain in it.” Proverbs 2:20,21

 

Say NO to that guy who only wants to get into your pants and end up messing you up. Say NO to negative peer pressure. Say NO to ungodly friendships and relationships. Say NO to all the worldly parties and clubbing. Say NO to the songs that get you sexually aroused and make you have lustful desires. Say NO to the sinful thoughts that work their way into your mind. Say NO to the perversion the media displays. Choose not to watch/listen to any of it. Say NO to the pornographic films you hide and watch! Fill your mind with the Word of God, ponder over it and you’ll be able to discern good from bad and wrong friends from Godly friends. I get tempted alright, but by keeping the Word in my heart and obeying God, I escape temptations. Sometimes it’s really really tough but I pull through. You see, the Word fills you up and helps you to live Godly... By all means be friendly, but you have to stop being too friendly and too polite by saying yes to everybody and the ungodly intentions they may have for you.  

Via

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

“For the grace of God has appeared for the salvation of all men, training us to renounce irreligion and worldly passions, and to live sober, upright, and Godly lives in this world.” Titus 2:11,12

If your friendliness is causing you to sin, then you have to watch it! Filter everything/anybody that comes your way. Your life and body should be a dedication to God. Stop allowing just anything/anybody into your life. Your NO will attract rather nasty and unpleasant comments/responses sometimes or even most of the time, but that’s okay. Just hold your head up high, remember who you’re living for and continue walking in obedience to the Word. 

“And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” Matthew 5:30

 

“Indeed all who desire to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”  2 Timothy 3:12

I continually pray for God’s strength to grace my life to have the will to say NO to ungodliness. Saying okay to ungodliness will lead you right into sin. My dear, please be strong in the Lord, ok? Respect yourself enough to steer clear from compromising situations. Surround yourself with spiritual minded people, not carnal minded people. Be around people who build you up in Christ, people who want to help you live a pure life for God. I know such Godly people are hard to come by these days. Tell God you need Godly friendships. Be a Godly friend yourself, and you’ll attract Godly friendships into your life.

Dear friend, I want you to mull over the verse below. Think of all your friendships and relationships and all the things you do in your life and ask yourself if they urge you on to bear the fruits of the Spirit or otherwise. If they constantly lead you to sin, then my dear, you need to weed them out of your life, because they are not helping your walk with the Lord.

“Now the works of the flesh are plain; fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:19-24

Please put a Godly value on yourself and let your NO, be NO! Jesus loves you wayyyy too much for you to continue hurting Him by giving in to sin. :) XOXO

 Delali

The Road Not Taken

                                                       
  Via

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;

Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim
Because it was grassy and wanted wear,
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,

And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I marked the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way
I doubted if I should ever come back.

I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I,
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.

-Robert Frost

** This poem may mean different things for different people. For me, it speaks to me in terms of my faith. Christianity is well known. Many say they’re Christians but their lives are similar to the world. They’ve opened their doors to unbiblical doctrine. They dress the same, speak the same, and drink the same kind of drinks. I see around me only few people who actually live true godly lives, people who strive so hard to seek God’s path and walk on it, no matter how lonesome or ridiculous it might seem. I’m certainly not a perfect person in this walk with Christ but I’m willing to give it my all...I believe that should count for something.

The sigh in the first line of the final stanza is one of relief for me, a satisfied, happy sigh heaved throughout my life till when my life is coming to an end and I feel no doubt or fear about where I’ll spend my eternity because I lived a fulfilling life in Christ... and the thought of soaring into heaven with the Lamb when He returns...O, what joy! No matter how enticing and glamorous the world's way, I made a choice. And it reminds me that me deciding to choose this narrow path and saying no to the vain offers of this world is what sets me apart and makes any difference for my soul and eternity.**