Through painted deserts

I posted this blog a year ago, but for some reason the link got broken and i couldn't seem to fix it. So, i decided to re-post it. enjoy.

Have you ever read a book and enjoyed it so much you became sad that it had to come to end? It’s like you’ve become a part of the story and leaving the scene is hard for you because you want it to roll on for your continued enjoyment. Through Painted Deserts by Donald Miller is one of such stories.Somewhere in early December last year, I was looking up Christian books I could put on my to-read list, and I came across Blue Like Jazz by Donald Miller. It had good reviews and I found out it was even turned into a movie so I got convinced it must be good. Around Christmas I was looking for some good music on Noisetrade when I stumbled on a free audio version of Don’s book, Through Painted Deserts. Was I thrilled? You bet! I mean although Blue Like Jazz was what I was bent on reading, I was like why not give this a listening ear? After all it’s by the same author and if Blue Like Jazz is good, chances are Through Painted Deserts also is. Was I wrong? No!

 

In fact I’ve fallen in love with the book, seriously! (Sorry I had to scream that.) This is more like say, a short, informal review of the book with a bunch of my favorite quotes from it.

Through Painted Deserts is a memoir that takes you on a journey into how the author found the meaning of why God made us, his beloved creation... about changing, faith, finding light, friendship and beauty on the open road. It’s very touching and warms your heart in the right places. Oh, and the soothing voice of Don reading the book adds such calm and peace to the story itself.

It’s a book I will recommend for everybody especially those whose faith in God is a bit shaky and who doubt the goodness and beauty of God, people who wonder or doubt if God ever listens to their prayers and people who may need to leave their comfort zones and everything behind to go on an adventure to get a better perspective of life. It’s a book for people who get so caught up with life and forget there’s a big world out there full of the calmness and peace of God, people who don’t stop to enjoy the big, blue sky, people who don’t stop to breathe and experience the soothing nature, the works of God’s hands. Although we have to participate in life and go about our duties in order to survive, we need to take breaks every now and then to get away from the pressures and noise of it all and just enjoy God.

 

Considering I’m a ''small'' town kinda girl in this little country, Ghana, this book encourages me personally to venture out from my all too familiar surroundings to somewhere new, somewhere that’ll give me a new and beautiful perspective about life and God. I so want to leave, to venture out and experience and enjoy the magnificence of God somewhere away from where I call home, sharing His truth and forging beautiful friendships along the way... and I’m trusting God with that. I want to experience Him in canyons, on mountains, in deserts, in falling snow, in the falling of red autumn leaves, on beautiful beaches, on islands, on the open road... in different cultures. Nature has such an endearing way of reminding me not just of the greatness of God and the beautiful works of His hands but it also affirms that God really does exist.

So here are some quotes I totally love from the book. They’re like urm, spoilers of a good movie. LOL They’re quite a number but you can’t resist such lovely words that speak straight to your heart, right?!  Haha, here goes:

“Every person has to leave, has to change like the seasons. They have to or they die. The seasons remind me that I must keep changing and I want to change because it’s Gods way.”

“Everybody has to change or they expire. Everybody has to leave their homes and come back so they can love it again for all new reasons.”

“I want to keep my soul fertile for the changes so things keep getting born in me, so things keep dying when it’s time for things to die.”

“I want to repeat one word for you. Leave. Roll the word around on your tongue for a bit. It’s a beautiful word, isn’t it? So strong and forceful, the way you’ve always wanted to be. And you’ll not be alone. You have never been alone. Don’t worry, everything will still be here when you get back. It is you who would have changed.”

“No, life can’t be understood flat on a page, it has to be lived, a person has to get out of his head, has to fall in love, has to memorize poems, has to jump off bridges into rivers, has to stand in an empty desert and whisper sonnets under his breath.”

“It’s a living book, this life. It folds out in a million settings, cast with a billion beautiful characters and it’s almost over for you. It doesn’t matter how old you are. It’s coming to a close quickly and soon the credits will roll and all of your friends will fold out of your funeral and drive back to their homes in cold, in still, in silence and they’ll make a fire, pour some wine and think about how you once were and feel a kind of sickness at the idea you never again will be.”

“And so my prayer is that your story would have involved some leaving and some coming home, some summer and some winter, some roses blooming out like children in a play. My hope is that your story will be about changing, about getting something beautiful born outside of you, about learning to love a man or a woman, about learning to love a child, about moving yourself around water, around mountains, around friends, about learning to love others more than we love ourselves, about learning oneness as a way of understanding God.”

“Everything is like a symphony if you think about it; birds are perfect and crickets come out of the wet woods like a choir...nature itself worked perfectly to calm the soul.”

“Life is a dance toward God... and the dance is not so graceful as we might want. While we glide and swing our practiced sway, God crowds our feet, bumps our toes, and scuffs our shoes.”

“There is nothing I’m missing. I have everything i was supposed to have to experience the magnitude of this story, to dance with God.”

“I guess I’m looking for what any guy is looking for. I want a companion, you know. Just someone to share life with. I want her to be my biggest fan and i want to be her biggest fan too. I want us to raise kids in a home where they know their parents are in love with each other, with them, and with God. I guess that’s all I want.”

“I want a friend, a true friend. Someone who knows me and loves me anyway. Like, when I’m through putting my best foot forward, she’s still there.”

“Real love doesn’t ask “what’s in it for me?” It just gives unconditionally, it just tries to take the weight out of somebody else’s pack, lessen his load and if it gets reciprocated, that’s great, but that isn’t what you did it for.”

“Don’t kick yourself around, if you can’t climb up out of a canyon real quick, just do it slow.”

“God made a whole beautiful earth and decided to put you in it, to experience all of this beauty. You can’t do that watching television all the time.”

“Life is not a story about me, but it’s told to me and I can be glad of that. I think that’s the why of life...to enjoy God.”

“Months ago I would have told you life was about doing, about jumping through religious hoops, about impressing people and my actions would have told you this is done by buying possessions or keeping a good image... but I don’t believe in that stuff anymore. I think we’re supposed to stand in deserts and marvel at how the sun rises. I think we’re supposed to sleep in meadows and watch stars dart across space and time. I think we’re supposed to love our friends and introduce people to the story, to the peaceful, calming why of life. I think life is spirituality.”

“If I ever get frustrated with life again, if I ever get into river deep debt, I will sell it all and move out into the woods, find some people who aren’t like me and learn to love them and do something even harder, let them love me. I will sleep beneath the stars and whisper “thank You” to the Creator of the universe as a way of reacquainting myself to an old friend, a friend who says you don’t have to be smart or good looking or religious or anything, you just have to cling to Him, love Him, need Him, and listen to Him while He tells His story.”

“Some things have to end, you know. I will be leaving soon and i want to feel this, really understand that it’s happening because God breathed some spark into mud that became us and He did it for a reason and I want to feel that reason, not some false explanation.”

"And if these mountains had eyes, they would wake to find two strangers in their fences, standing in admiration as a breathing red pours its tinge upon earth's shore. These mountains, which have seen untold sunrises, long to thunder praise but stand reverent, silent so that man's weak praise should be given God's attention."

"It's a wonder that those exposed to such beauty forfeit the great questions in the face of this miraculous evidence."

“I think again about this small period of grace, and thank God for it, that if only for a season I could feel the why of life, see it in the metaphor of light, in the endlessness of the cosmos, in the miracle of friendship. And had these mountains the ability to reason, perhaps they would contemplate the beauty of humanity and praise God for the miracle that each of us is, pondering the majesty of God and the wonder of man in one bewildering context. Their brows are rumpled even now and their arms are stretched toward heaven.”

Whew! (That’s a good whew, LOL) I’ve come to the end of the lengthy but lovely quotes from Through Painted Deserts. It’s such a good read and I love how the acoustic guitar plays in the background at the end of the final chapter. It ends on such a beautiful note that it even gets me teary-eyed (In a very good way.) I hope you enjoyed them and that you’ll read the book or better still get the free audio version right here. It’s a good read (have I mentioned that already) and you could listen to the audio book (all twenty-seven chapters) in a day. I personally didn’t want to consume all the yummy goodness in one day so I chose to listen to it in bits, over a number of days to let it all sink in. God bless Don’s kind heart for giving it away for no cost and for allowing others to go along on the journey with him through the mind’s eye. He sure has a way with words and he writes from a place of honesty and truth.

People travel all the time. Probably you do or you currently are. What I’m beginning to realize is that you could travel the entire world and it wouldn’t really mean anything until you travel with meaning, with the knowledge that God created all these magnificent things in life. Traveling should awaken us to the wonder of God and rekindle our love for Him. It should involve loving and sharing God’s truth to the people we meet along our journeys. Let’s always remember what Jesus said “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind, and with all your strength. The second is this, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. There is no other commandment greater than these.” Mark 12:30,31 In our everyday living, we should not lose focus on loving God and people. And if you love people, you would want to share God’s truth with them so that they get saved. So travel to enjoy God and love people along the way!
:)

 Jesus loves you. xoxo

Delali.

When life gets tough

Have you ever wondered why life seems to pick on you sometimes? Like nothing really turns out the way you want it to... in the silence of your heart you ask yourself so many questions - “Why do I have such a dysfunctional family?” “Why don’t I have parents who love each other and have a beautiful happy home? Why can’t I have this or that like other people?” You’re not asking for a perfect home but a home filled with love. “Is it wrong to ask for that?” you ask yourself. “Maybe if I was from a rich home like her I would have more cool friends”, you begin to think... 

                                                                                   

Or maybe one of your parents unfortunately passed on and it’s just your mom or dad who’s trying all their best to provide for the home...and it’s a real struggle. There’s little money and little food on the table. Your fees for school is so difficult to get, and you think every night, when will all of this end?

Maybe you’re caught in the middle of your parents’ divorce and you end up moving to a much smaller apartment and all these changes glare you in the face and you have such a hard time adjusting to it...or maybe you do have your parents together but its hell in that house, there’s no peace, no love...you don’t really have a bond with your siblings, just this awkward relationship and you wish and pray with everything in you that somehow things change, somehow things become more happier or that you miraculously get a whole new better family. “If wishes were horses...”, you whisper under your breath.

                                                                                  

Or perhaps it’s with friendships. Life is messing up your head in this department. You’re from a rich home and have all these friends, but deep down you wonder if all these people are with you because of the things and favors they get from you. You wonder “if I had nothing at all, will they still be there?” You notice quite a number of fake smiles and flattery from these ‘friends’ but you shut your eyes to it cause truth is, you don’t want to end up being friendless or lonely. 

Or your story is quite the opposite. You barely have any friends. And no, it’s not because you’re not friendly. You’re broke, and not popular. You’re plain ol’ you. (Maybe not so plain.) Well, you know how the saying goes ‘no money, no friends.’ The few friends you do have sadly also begin to drift away. They have this cute clique thing going on with other friends and you can’t join, you don’t even want to join. Well, you aren’t invited to join anyway. Plus who likes to be the ‘third wheel’? No one likes to be the new girl, it’s awkward, it’s frustrating. 

                                                                                    

You see them hang out with these other people who seem way cooler than you, people who have cars, the newest tech devices. They sometimes come and hang out with you, but you notice it’s only when their ‘cooler’ friends aren’t around. So you become like the spare tire, the friend who gets the scraps and gets squeezed into the plan, not the friend who’s intentionally fixed into the plan. These few friendships you have start breeding this silent unhealthy competition. And you think out loud “seriously, why do people think everything is a competition?!” And you sit alone in your room, sigh heavily and can’t help but wonder if it’s you, or them. You decide you can’t be bothered, so you watch as your friendship with these people grow apart, and some of them act like complete strangers towards you. You’re a bit confused and wonder if friendship isn’t supposed to be based on deeper, meaningful things like trust, loyalty, love and NOT superficial things.

Oh, how can I forget the boy drama? You meet this great guy, you’re attracted to each other. One minute he’s very interested to get to know you, the next moment he acts like he doesn’t know you, like you’re not good enough. And you think “What did I do?! Do I have bad breath? What’s going on?” Or, perhaps this great guy after being friends for a while actually asks you out, you date steadily and before you realise, he dumps you! “How dare he? What happened to all the forever after promises we made to each other?” you think. Fortunately for you, it was a Godly relationship at best so you didn’t give yourself away to him physically or unfortunately, you did. Either way, you gave yourself away to him emotionally and it hurts like crazy to let go. The worst is if he cheated on you and you start comparing yourself to the girl. “Is she prettier than I am, is she smarter, funnier, richer than I am?” You continue to wonder...

                                                                                   

You succeed to block/remove him from your social media but you occasionally still see stuff from him on your feed because there’s this mutual friend you have who “likes” and retweets stuff from his FB and Twitter accounts. Ggrrrr! Just when you think the wound is healing, you bump into him somewhere while he’s with the new girl and the memories rush back and it hurts. You go home, cry your eyes out and scream “when is this madness going to end. When does this wound completely heal?!” You’ve had it, you’re tired of scratching the scab and deepening the wound. It’s hard for you to trust any guy now. You feel jaded.

Or, are you the new girl in the neighborhood, your school or a group/club? You’re having a hard time with people who can’t accept you as you are. It’s hard to fit in. (you’re probably born to stand out then). All the other kids seem to have it together and some even try to intimidate you. They don’t really know you that well and don’t understand why you’re more laid back than most of them, so they try to fix you. They try to get you to be this loud person you never want to be. They make you feel like it’s totally out of order to be a soft spoken person, to be who you are. “They don’t get it”, you think. You’re not the non-stop talkative kind, it takes time for you to open up. You’re more careful who you trust as friend. You don’t like loud, you are not loud. Loud people work your nerve and you certainly do not like to be loud. And you begin to realize that maybe they’re all jabbing and picking on you because they’re running away from their own insecurities. You become this new project they’re working on, when in fact they have so many imperfections of their own. And you yell, “WHY ME?! Leave me alone!”

                                                                                   

Or is life getting to you with recent events going on in the lives of your close family and friends? Everybody around you looks so happy being in a relationship. Your friends are getting engaged, some got married just a couple of weeks ago or a year ago. And you’re still single. People keep asking you all the time “have you met that special someone?” and in your head you go like “urgh! Not you too. Why can’t y’all stop asking me this question?!” You know they mean well by asking you, but it gets frustrating. Some of them even try to push you into relationships by saying things like “your biological clock is ticking, don’t you want to have kids?” All these things drain your energy and happiness. You know it’s a matter of time before you also meet that Godly man you’ve been praying for. All the pressure becomes too much and life seems so crazy, you can’t believe it.

Or do you find yourself in a country where nothing seems to go right? There’s so much poverty around you, so much stench from dirty, stagnant drains. There are few to no employment opportunities. You feel so stuck, so helpless. Poverty meets you in the streets, even in your own home, and you can’t wait for a breakthrough, to get out and escape the misery. You’re so tired of eating poor- so much carbohydrates with very little protein. You want out so bad, you feel God is deaf to your prayers, it’s like He’s being so slow to come to your rescue. You see friends escape the harsh reality and make it to better places right before your eyes and you’re like “What about me, Lord? What about me?” You’re at the end of your rope and your faith begins to shake.

                                                                                    

Life. It’s beautiful, then sorrowful, sweet, sour, horrible, unbelievable, miraculous, unpredictable... You think you have the hang of it one moment and the next second, it’s totally out of your control. That’s how this thing called life is. People will hurt you, ignore you, reject you. You’ll face disappointments, things wouldn’t be smooth always. There are good times, there are bad times. In the good times, we must remember to be thankful. In the bad times, we must be thankful too. We must be fully dependent on the strength of God especially when we’re in despair. We must keep reminding ourselves of how immensely God loves us, no matter what. He is the one writing His story through us. He decides where we have our setting, our family. He presents us with opportunities, hoping that we make the right choices, that we choose the right friends, the right relationships. 

Your parents might have got it wrong, and ended up divorced, and it must have affected you, but for how long will you beat yourself about it? You have the choice to wait on the Lord for a Godly mate, making sure you’re walking with the Lord yourself. You have the choice to pray to God for Godly friends who’ll accept you as you are, not cos of what they can get from you. You have to be strong and stay true to yourself.

Although some people seem to have it going way better than you, you’ve got to remember that life is unfair to everybody at some point and that life is not a competition. Keep praying even when you feel like God is so far away. Remember how Elizabeth and Zachariah waited forever before they could have a child and when they did it was no ordinary child? It was John the Baptist! Well, that breakthrough seems so far now, but it’s just a matter of time. The pain can’t last forever.

“For the Lord God is a sun and shield; He bestows favour and honour. No good thing does the Lord withhold from those who walk uprightly.” Psalm 84:11

You’ll have the beautiful friendships you’ve longed for, the pain and anger from that broken home and broken relationship will go. The wounds will heal. You’ll be surrounded by people who accept you and understand you, people who aren’t perfect but who love you oh so much. You will have your breakthrough, the struggles will reduce. That Godly man will eventually come into the picture, he’ll pursue you like Christ pursues us, His bride. You’ll have a beautiful marriage with cute wonderful kids. Affirm these positive things in your life, have faith they will come true, keep reading God’s truth in the Bible. Refuse to let fear and doubts get the better part of you. 

                                                                                    

I’ve been through and still going through some of the scenarios above. I know how it’s like. It’s tough, but my sweet Jesus is mighty to save. He knows our needs, it’s just a matter of time. Let’s keep being faithful and obedient to God. Let’s keep praying and praising Him. He’s gonna show up. He has to. We must trust in His plan. The stories He’s telling through us isn’t over yet, there’s more to tell. The best is yet to come. Stay strong dear, whatever your struggles, whatever your pain, know that this too shall pass. Hugs to you. :) xoxo

Delali.

You Were Made To Bloom

Today, I want to encourage you. I want to remind you that you were made to bloom. Yes, you. God penned down your story, my story way before we were even formed in our mothers’ wombs, just as He told Jeremiah... “Before I formed you in the womb of I knew you, and before you were born I consecrated you; I appointed you a prophet to the nations.” Jeremiah 1:4,5 He made each of us for great things. Jeremiah’s purpose on earth was to be a prophet of God. That’s the same way you and I are here, walking this earth because of the purpose of God. He appointed you to come to this earth to do something unique.

Now, won’t it be a shame if you plant a seed of a rose flower, but instead of fully growing and blooming, it sadly has a stunted growth? How come you may ask. Well, you barely had time to water it or tweak out the weeds that were hindering its growth. Weeds only consume the nutrients in the soil that plants need to thrive and grow well. So, that’s how come. The rose plant never bloomed.

Your life can be compared to this rose plant. To be able to fully plug into your full capabilities as a child of God, you need to allow God water your life. You need to feed your life the right things to bloom. When we begin to feed our lives with the Word of God and prayer on a daily basis, we start to grow as God intended us to. We start to hear God’s voice clearly about what steps we should take. Without constantly seeking God’s face in prayer and in the Bible, we’re bound to live according to our own plans which might very well conflict with our Father’s plans for our lives. 

“He destined us in love to be His sons through Jesus Christ, according to the purpose of His will, to the praise of His glorious grace which He freely bestowed on us in the Beloved.” Ephesians 1:5,6

The weeds that hindered the growth of the rose plant are those people and things that stand in your way from experiencing the beauty of living a purposeful life, the things that hold you back from shinning and living out loud for God. You know very well the ungodly inner circle of friends you have around you prevent you from passionately pursuing God’s will for you...those unhealthy habits of watching porn, fornicating, profanity, adultery, smoking, getting drunk, clubbing, going to worldly parties...they are all NOT God’s will for you. How can you bloom when you are so busy chasing after sin which will only kill you? “For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 6;23

Sin separates us from God. The more a person sins, the farther God is. The Holy Spirit can’t dwell in a body that is dabbling in an unbroken chain of sin. When we sin, we are more or less driving away the Spirit of God in us, because the Spirit is holy and can’t dwell where sin is. Sure, we are human and we’re tempted to sin often times. But isn’t it far better to strive to live the life God called you to instead of willingly going after things that cause you to stumble and die out fast?

“Now the works of the flesh are plain: fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing, and the like. I warn you as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:19-24

I encourage you to seek God’s face, let Him become very personal and real in your life. Surround yourself with people with Godly wisdom. Ask Him what He planned for your life. You were not made to have a stunted life, you were made to bloom. :) Stop selling yourself short. God filled each of us with wonderful talents and spiritual gifts. 1 Corinthians 12:7-11 says “To each is given the manifestation of the Spirit for the common good. To one is given through the Spirit the utterance of wisdom, and to another the utterance of knowledge according to the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healing by the one Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another the prophecy, to another the ability to distinguish between spirits, to another various kinds of tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. All these are inspired by one and the same Spirit, who apportions to each one individually as He wills.”

Dear one, God made all these spiritual gifts available to help us bloom. He placed the unique abilities to write, sing, paint, teach, sew, act in us. It’s not by our own might or some coincidence. It is His will. It is our duty to humbly ask Him to make known to us which talent and spiritual gifts He planned for us to have. He needs us to use these gifts to serve Him and draw people to His saving grace. You can’t know God’s will for you if you only know Him on Sunday mornings in a church building. He needs to be a part of your everyday life. He needs to be present in the songs you listen to, the movies you watch, the company you keep, clothing you wear. You are His representative, you need to act as such. How can you really know God without constantly and intentionally spending time with Him? You need to pursue a relationship with Him cos He’s the answer to all the questions you have. 

“But, as it is written, “What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love Him.””1 Corinthians 1:9

You might be experiencing a season of drought where it’s hard to completely trust God’s plan. I’ll be the first to admit I’ve been there before. But the Word, O the Word! It constantly speaks to me and urges me on to keep believing. There are times when God seems silent. Those times are when you need Him the most, not when you throw in the towel and abandon His plan for you. Times like that are when He’s watching to see if you’ll exercise your FAITH or if you’ll let your current circumstances dictate your future. Without faith we can’t please God. 

“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

Stay encouraged dear one. You have the Creator, the one who calls things that be not as though they were as your Father. Value this relationship you have with Him and honor it by following His will. You were made to bloom. Come out of your bud, your shell, your insecurities and doubts and display the beauty God Himself has clothed you with, inside and out. He has a reason for making sure you were born and raised where you were, the schools you went to, the people you met.  The wrong friends and relationships you had serve a purpose to make you realize you deserve better and eventually lead you to the right friendships. Trust God’s process. There’s purpose behind your struggles, a purpose that’ll refine you and make you grow in Christ to be the best He made you to be.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will make straight your paths.” Proverbs 3:5,6

I want to share this lovely song by Moriah Peters. It speaks into my life and fill me with happy, hopeful thoughts with every word.

Stretch out your faith and bloom, darling. :) xoxo

Delali.

Learning To Say NO!

Hi dearies, I trust you are doing great! This one is a lil on the lengthy side cos its filled with so much yummy goodness. So grab a drink, get comfy and read on. ;)

A few Sundays back I was enjoying my walk from the junction of my University to my hostel after church service when I heard a car honk and someone called out to me. I turned my head sideways and saw this guy driving a beat up truck slowing down and smiling and asking me to come over for a ride. I gave him a wan smile and said I was alright walking cos I was almost at my hostel anyway. But he insisted and didn’t seem to give up so I said to myself, what could it hurt... I get to save some energy and sweat from walking under the glaring rays of the sun. So I crossed over to the other side of the street and got in the truck.

He was extremely friendly and started asking ‘’getting to know you’’ questions. From that short conversation however, I immediately got to know the type of guy he was. I mean which morally upright guy starts steering the first convo towards such things as ‘kissing’??? SMH Like dude, you even know I’m coming from church! But of course he had no shame. He was actually candid about telling me he is naughty! **alarm bells ringing** SMH some more.

 At the car park of my hostel, he asked for my digits and I nicely told him nahh, I don’t give my number out to guys who have no problem saying the kind of things he said. He insisted and insisted and I kept saying NO. I could tell I had bruised his ego big time cos he said he’s the type who doesn’t take no for an answer, but oh well I hope I’m the first to prove him wrong. He might have thought I was kidding and just playing a lil hard to get or something, but I didn’t mince my words. When my NO started to sink into his carnally clouded mind, he eventually stopped shoving his huge phone into my face. I got down and politely thanked him for the ride and walked away to my room with such dignity spurring in my heart.

I must have really taken him by surprise because after I climbed up the stairs to my room, I noticed from my window he was still packed outside. I found that odd because he had told me he doesn’t attend my school and that he was visiting his brother at one of the hostels at the other side of campus. So I began to think that what if he was just waiting to see which balcony I step out on so that he traces my room? I thought fast and quick and decided not to go to the balcony until he drove away. I mean I don’t want him stalking me and probably hurting me or something cos I turned him down. LOL So I did the wise thing of staying inside until I don’t even know when he drove his beat up truck away. 

I bet he thought I’m one of those girls who just go to church but live in an unbroken pattern of sin. You know, those girls who flash their Bibles around but never really read it and live it. There are too many ‘Christians’ out there who are lukewarm and live a double life. SMH No wonder he thought I was one of them. Wrong move bro, wrong move. He probably calls himself a Christian too...what a shame! And I didn’t want to bother giving him my number because he’s obviously company I do not want to have. I do selective friendships and relationships. I’m friendly to all but I don’t let just anybody in my space. He clearly didn’t have any respect for me and didn’t deserve my time.

“So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.” Revelations 3:16

“No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” Matthew 6:24

 When did it become ok for a guy to make suggestive moves to a lady especially in their very first conversation? I’m not some booty call. I know my worth and I have Godly standards that I honor. Because let’s be real, if I had gone against my standards and given my number to him, I would have ended up ignoring his calls and eventually blocking his number because it’s so obvious what he wanted from me. I don’t want any carnally filled guy blowing up my phone. It was simpler to avoid all that by saying a firm NO! At the end of it all his friendliness meant nothing really to me because the intentions behind them were thwarted and ungodly and his attempt to sound all sophisticated didn’t fool me either. 

“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”” 1 Corinthians 15:33

Saying NO does not mean you’re rude and snobbish, it simply means you know who you are and you know who and what you don’t associate with. I prefer to be called rude by men for doing the things that please God than to be praised by men for doing what displeases God. We should learn how to say NO without sounding apologetic. If the person had no shame asking for whatever it is he/she is asking with ungodly intentions, then why should I feel guilty or ashamed to say NO?! If a guy has no shame wanting to fornicate with you, you should absolutely not hold back in telling him NO! Let your no, be no dear friends. Say it firmly without being aggressive. Say it because you really mean it. 

 

“So you will walk in the way of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will inhabit the land, and men of integrity will remain in it.” Proverbs 2:20,21

 

Say NO to that guy who only wants to get into your pants and end up messing you up. Say NO to negative peer pressure. Say NO to ungodly friendships and relationships. Say NO to all the worldly parties and clubbing. Say NO to the songs that get you sexually aroused and make you have lustful desires. Say NO to the sinful thoughts that work their way into your mind. Say NO to the perversion the media displays. Choose not to watch/listen to any of it. Say NO to the pornographic films you hide and watch! Fill your mind with the Word of God, ponder over it and you’ll be able to discern good from bad and wrong friends from Godly friends. I get tempted alright, but by keeping the Word in my heart and obeying God, I escape temptations. Sometimes it’s really really tough but I pull through. You see, the Word fills you up and helps you to live Godly... By all means be friendly, but you have to stop being too friendly and too polite by saying yes to everybody and the ungodly intentions they may have for you.  

Via

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

“For the grace of God has appeared for the salvation of all men, training us to renounce irreligion and worldly passions, and to live sober, upright, and Godly lives in this world.” Titus 2:11,12

If your friendliness is causing you to sin, then you have to watch it! Filter everything/anybody that comes your way. Your life and body should be a dedication to God. Stop allowing just anything/anybody into your life. Your NO will attract rather nasty and unpleasant comments/responses sometimes or even most of the time, but that’s okay. Just hold your head up high, remember who you’re living for and continue walking in obedience to the Word. 

“And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” Matthew 5:30

 

“Indeed all who desire to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”  2 Timothy 3:12

I continually pray for God’s strength to grace my life to have the will to say NO to ungodliness. Saying okay to ungodliness will lead you right into sin. My dear, please be strong in the Lord, ok? Respect yourself enough to steer clear from compromising situations. Surround yourself with spiritual minded people, not carnal minded people. Be around people who build you up in Christ, people who want to help you live a pure life for God. I know such Godly people are hard to come by these days. Tell God you need Godly friendships. Be a Godly friend yourself, and you’ll attract Godly friendships into your life.

Dear friend, I want you to mull over the verse below. Think of all your friendships and relationships and all the things you do in your life and ask yourself if they urge you on to bear the fruits of the Spirit or otherwise. If they constantly lead you to sin, then my dear, you need to weed them out of your life, because they are not helping your walk with the Lord.

“Now the works of the flesh are plain; fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:19-24

Please put a Godly value on yourself and let your NO, be NO! Jesus loves you wayyyy too much for you to continue hurting Him by giving in to sin. :) XOXO

 Delali