music monday// here i am anyway

Hi guys! so I sorta promised to be back to tell ya'll abut the depression thing. ok, so for starters enjoy this song. it leads to bits of the story I need to tell.

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here I am anyway // josh wilson

I'm like Moses in the desert
When that bush went up in flames
You said, "Go and tell your story"
He said, "God, what will I say?
I'm so scared, unprepared
What difference will I make?"
Sometimes I feel the same

                                                                                                                                                                              If it's weakness that You want
I've got more than enough
But some days I am so afraid
To show this world your love
But I'll give You all of me
And my insecurities
God, I don't have what it takes
But here I am anyway
Here I am anyway
God, I've got so many questions
Wonder why You placed me here
You have given me these passions
But they come with so much fear
Sometimes it don't make sense at all
But I guess if I was brave
Then I wouldn't walk by faith   

If it's weakness that You want
I've got more than enough
But some days I am so afraid
To show this world your love
But I'll give You all of me
And my insecurities
God, I don't have what it takes
But here I am anyway
Here I am anyway
 

 If You say go (If You say go, if You say go)
I won't say no (I won't say no, I won't say no)
If You say go (If You say go, if You say go)
I won't say no (I won't say no, I won't say no)
 

'Cause it's weakness that You want
That's how You show Your love
Your power is made perfect
When we are not enough
 

If it's weakness that You want
I've got more than enough
But some days I am so afraid
To show this world your love
But I'll give You all of me
And my insecurities
God, I don't have what it takes
But here I am anyway
Here I am anyway
Here I am anyway, anyway
Here I am anyway, anyway

This song by Josh Wilson is my jam! Especially during the wilderness years of my life after service. You see, the plan was to snag a scholarship abroad for masters right after my one year national service. But it so didn't happen that way. Father had been telling me many times about His purpose for me to teach and be in ministry but I was like nah, abroad is more lit! (not to say that if you want to go abroad for studies it's bad. Absolutely not! Just be sure if that's where God wants you to be. We all have different journeys). 

So back to the story. I could literally not wait to say goodbye to these streets of broken promises of ghana and start over somewhere far, far away. So of course, I gave many excuses about why teaching is not not not my thing.

I told God :
I'm shy so I can't handle being in front of a class.
I look way too young for my age and the kids will bully me.
It's not what I want to do.
I don't like it.
The money ain't great.

So God being who He is, He allowed me to wander around for a couple of years, searching for a job I thought I'd like (far from teaching) and depression set in along with some crazy accusations and betrayals.   

Then, after a couple of years, He mercifully presented me a chance to teach. I had applied for masters at Uni of Ghana{my alma mater} so I was like, ok since the results ain't in, lemme just do this teaching thing for the meantime and move on to do the masters when I slay the entrance interview and exam.

And slay I did. But the interesting thing is, by the time my admission was in, I loved teaching so much I decided to defer! I know, sounds crazy...

But that's what happens when God leads you to walk in the purpose He designed you for. You might think you're not cut out for it, yet He still tells you to trust Him and obey. Cos He knows you better than you know yourself. He's awesome like that! 

And the abroad plans? Well this is where Father has me now, and I'll bloom right where He's planted me until He tells me to move. I'm glad the Norwegian quota scheme and all the scholarships bounced me cos I'd rather be walking in purpose. Who would have thought I'd come to love these streets of broken promises?! I can't quite believe it sometimes! 

The time I spend teaching the kids and getting to know their sweet hearts is so fulfilling that I don't regret or second guess letting go of my masters for now. He's actually leading me to do something different related to teaching/ministry for further studies. Whaaaaaat?????!!! Mind blown!!! This can't be me. This can't be the same ol' Genevieve! This can only be Jesus!

   

Like moses, we all feel inadequate sometimes concerning what God is telling us to do. But obeying Him is so worth it, I promise! Ask our good, good Father if what you're doing is what He's told you to do. If it is, carry on, Love warrior. If not, please obey. 

And turns out I'm not even that shy like I thought. I'm not nervous when I'm teaching, it's like I've been doing it forever. And the kids do NOT bully me! And God is taking care of me each day. #winning. & abroad? yeah it's lit alright. But my purpose right here, right now is more lit cos I'm abiding in the will of my Daddy.

Okay, I'm done telling you my life story. Carry on with your life.

    

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9

xoxo,

gen delali

music monday// symphony

i’m sharing a lovely video from the anima series and a song today!

seven days- a creation story

can’t get enough of josh wilson’s songs! this is upbeat and happy! like last weeks'! i am not letting anything stop me from singing to God!

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 symphony~ josh wilson

It started out in eden when He breathed in to the dust of the ground,

Creating the sound of a heartbeat like the drumbeat to a song.

It started out as a solo, a crescendo to the ends of the earth

Till everyone heard the music God is making in us all.

And now every breath we breathe is a melody

In the love song to the God who made every soul to sing,

Every life to bring out the beauty in this world.

So come on with all your heart,

lift your voice and play your part in this symphony

hear it in the laughing of an orphan, the very first time

he looks in the eyes of the family who’s here to bring him home.

Feel it in the silence, in the worship of the church underground

They’re singing without a sound, somehow.

So sing with me of His majesty, come on, just sing with me in this symphony.

“then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.” Genesis 2:7

“then the Lord God made a woman from the rib He had taken out of the man, and He brought her to the man.” Genesis 2:22

“I will sing to the Lord, for He is highly exalted…” exodus 15:1

“come, let us sing for joy to the Lord; let us shout aloud to the Rock of our salvation.” Psalm 95:1

“sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. Sing to the Lord, praise His name; proclaim His salvation day after day.” Psalm 96:1-2

“I will sing to the Lord all my life; I will sing praise to my God as long as I live.” Psalm 104:33

“do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery [promiscuity/indulgence in sensual pleasures.] Instead, be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.” Ephesians 5:18-20

“religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world.” James 1:27

mountain high or valley low, let’s sing to God! don’t wait till the breakthrough comes into your life before you sing. praise your way into the breakthrough! :)

xoxo, gen delali.

music monday// before the morning

i know sometimes when we hear things like "God will make a way" "everything will work out just fine, wait and see" they sound like cliches. it sure happens to me sometimes when i dangerously begin to lose focus on God's word. but it's truueee. 

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when we put all of our hope in God, trust and obey, miracles happen! today's song is birthed from an amazing miracle God did in a family's life. here's a quick video on the story. tears swirled in my eyes when i first watched it. God is really faithful!

before the morning~ josh wilson

do you wonder why you have to feel the things that hurt you?

if there's a God who love you, where is He now?

maybe, there are things you can't see and all those things are happening 

to bring a better ending someday, somehow, you'll see, you'll see.

would you dare, would you dare to believe

that you still have a reason to sing

cause the pain that you've been feeling,

it can't compare to the joy that's coming

so hold on, you got to wait for the light

press on, and just fight the good fight

cause the pain you've been feeling,

it's just the dark before the morning.

my friend, you know how this all ends

and you know where you're going,

you just don't know how you'll get there

so say a prayer, and hold on

cause there's good for those who love God

life is not snapshot, it might take a little time

but you'll see the bigger picture.

once you feel the weight of glory, all your pain will fade to memory

once you feel the weight of glory, all your pain will fade to memory

memory, memory, yeah

c'mon, you got to wait for the light,

press on, and just fight the good fight

cause the pain you've been feeling,

it's just the hurt before the healing,

the pain that you've been feeling

is just the dark before the morning, yeah, yeah

before the morning.

"...weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning." psalm 30:5

"for i consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us." romans 8:18

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"for our light affliction, which is but for a moment, is working for us a far more exceeding and eternal weight of glory, while we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not see. for the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal." 2 corinthians 4:17-18

"i wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in His word i do hope. my soul waits for the Lord more than those who watch for the morning-yes, more than those who watch for the morning." psalm 130:5-6

everything that God does is for a reason. the pain is for a greater purpose, for a beautiful glory that's coming. don't let anything break your focus on God. hold on, friend. :)

xoxo, gen delali.

music monday// i refuse

hi guys! music tiiiime! :) 

there are times when it's so hard for me to actually do what i know Christ has called me to do. i feel kind of numb. and numb is never a good thing. i can get so wrapped up in my own little world that i ignore to give the smile, the kind word, the helping hand, the seed i know i should give. i kinda forget i'm the salt and light of the world. and although it's ok for the salt and light to have issues, {i'm still human. i feel, i hurt}, i forget that i shouldn't let the issues take over and shroud the Light within me. this song is real and full of truth and speaks to my tendency to activate numbmode. 

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i don't want to shrug off the tiny hands that reach out for help. and if i have nothing to offer, i can give my smile. {but thing is, the more you smile, the more they cling to you, not wanting to let go. sometimes it's a real struggle for me to be nice all the time. i'm so guilty of not caring sometimes, i'm smack embarrassed about it. but that's what the Word is supposed to do right? to convict you and call you to action.

 thing is, i want to give, but i want to make sure what i give directly benefits the kids, not the healthy looking adults who sit by and make them ask for alms on the streets. it annnoys me that they sit back, relaxed in a shade and 'use' their kids when they could take up odd jobs to make something for themselves. welp, the plan for now is to give these kids something edible that would go to their rumbling bellies.}

 here goes...

i refuse ~ josh wilson

sometimes, i just want to close my eyes and act like everyone's alright when no, they're not.

this world needs God, but it's easier to stand and watch.

i could say a prayer and just move on like nothing's wrong. but i refuse.

cause i don't wanna live like i don't care, i don't wanna say another empty prayer

oh, i refuse to sit around and wait for someone else to do what God has called me to do myself

oh, i could choose not to move but i refuse.

i can hear the least of these crying out so desperately

and i know we are the hands and feet of You, oh God.

so if You say move, it's time for me to follow through

and do what i was made to do and show them who You are.

...but i refuse to stand and watch the weary and lost cry out for help

i refuse to turn my back and try and act like all is well

i refuse to stay unchanged to wait another day to die to myself

i refuse to make one more excuse.

"the King will reply, 'truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.' "then He will say to those on His left, 'depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. for when I was hungry you gave me nothing to eat, i was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, i needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.' matthew 25:40-41

this song convicts me all the time, and i hope it does the same for you too. i pray it moves you to action to love, to proclaim the Gospel, to care. even when it hurts.

we've been called for important purposes.

xoxo

delali.