Friday, 4 July 2014

that time i didn't share Jesus

He was sitting by me. I gave my fare to the bus conductor first, he did second. It was the same denomination. The bus conductor handed out change which should go to me cos duh, I paid first. That’s how it’s supposed to be. I stretched my arm for it, but he insisted I give it to the guy sitting by me who paid second- {he looks and sounds lebanese.} I wear a perplexed look and say “but I gave you 5 cedis too.” (in local dialect) He said yes, but I should give it to the guy (‘mr. Lebanese.’) I was more perplexed and close to annoyance.
I can’t help but think, is it cos he’s cream colored? The way he insisted…hm. I get my change next.

Mr. Lebanese turned to look at me and asked why I’m angry. I tried hard not to roll my eyes and answered with, “I’m not angry” but clearly my face had a sour look lingering around.

He used this as a chance to make small talk. I’m kinda mad about the whole change thing and you try to make small talk with me? Small talk. Ugh.
“where’re you going? Work?” he said.
“yeah, I’m going to work.” I respond.
“where do you work?”
“uni. of ghana.”
“what do you study?”
“I work there.”
“what do you do?”
“admin”
“do you (the uni.) do ielts/toefl?”
“no”
“do you do English programs?”
“yes”
“how much is it for that?”
“I’m not sure. I could give you the website so you check yourself.” I’m ready to mention the address but dude doesn’t look like he wants to type it into his phone, which displayed the Arabic text he had been reading. Hints possible moslem. To find a way to bring up Jesus or not to? Hm.
“can you check for me the cost so you let me know?” he said.
“no, I can’t. you can check the website yourself.”
“can you give me your number?”
“no”
“can I give you my number so you check and tell me?”
“no” at this point I was thinking, obviously you’re just hitting on me. You don’t really want to study English, c’mon. I’m not na├»ve. You want my number for more than ‘cost for English programs’ reasons that I’m not interested in.
“why no?” he probed. ‘When does this convo end?’, is all I’m thinking.
“you can check yourself if you want to,” I insisted.
“I don’t know how to use a computer.”
I tried reallyyy hard not to roll my eyes and replied “well, you can let someone else check for you.”
“why can’t you?”
“I can’t”
“I’ll give you money”
“no” sorry, you can’t buy every girl’s attention with your money
“ei!” an exclamation suggesting frustration
Dude got tired of playing around the bush and went for the direct approach.
“my name’s Kasiri” i’m not sure I heard right but yeah, sounds something like that. “what’s your name?”
“Gen”
“Jane?”
“yeah” I don’t try to correct him cos, urm, this convo’s got to end. Not to mention all the other commuters listening in. awkward. Just wishing he’ll get off the bus soon.
“I’m 24 yrs. How old are you?”
With a really confused look now, I responded, dragging my answer “whhyyyy?”
Dude couldn’t give an answer. I think I left him baffled with a bruised ego. thankfully his junction was close and he got off without a word. I sighed from relief. Weirdness over.

Jesus, I couldn’t share you with this guy who really needs you and doesn’t even know it. I’m sorry, but I’ll be praying for him. That’s also okay, right? I thought to myself as I sat in the bus.

As I look back on this encounter I had last week, I realize maybe my responses should have been less colder even though I was still not going to give him my no., and maybe I shouldn’t have let the change thing get to me as it did. I could have innocently given him the no. with empathetic thoughts that he probably really needed my help with the info for the English programs. But, he doesn’t know how to use a pc?! C’mon! dude was using a smartphone. smh

well, I could have chosen to look past his seeming lie and be in touch. But while my intention will be geared towards friendship evangelism, his mission will clearly be a carnal pursuit of me. and I just couldn’t let that latter part be. I don’t have time for that.

I love to share the love of Jesus, but in some situations, it’s for my good that I redraw and pray for the person instead. and this was one of those situations. And I know God understands, i pray He does.

And as I pray for him, I’ll pray for myself, that I learn how to respond like Jesus would when people treat me as if I’m lesser than or a piece of meat, because I know I’m so worthy in the eyes of the King of the universe. and His opinion is what truly matters. I need to let this sink in and show more grace to people when they step on my toes.

we all inherit this fate and Love is the only way ~nature by taylor holder

Was there a time you chose not to talk about Jesus for some reason?
xoxo
delali.

4 comments:

  1. Loved this Gen. I have shared Jesus... but in times, places, and people I feel "safe" with. Not very Christ-like at all but I try not to be hard on myself. I think He is preparing me. I pray that I can become more comfortable in ministering to others.

    Thanks for sharing (and for linking up to the SHINE Blog Hop).

    Wishing you a lovely day.
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. true, i'm learning not to be too hard on myself too and still being bold and intentional about sharing Him. thanks for dropping by! :)

      Delete
  2. Possibly if you'd started talking about Jesus he would have ignored you instead of hitting on you. Who knows--but if you feel uncomfortable or unsafe with someone I think it's wise not to give them any personal details. Perhaps in cases like this it's better for a man to witness to a man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. yeah, Jesus-talk would have probably been a turn off for him. and true, sometimes it's best for the same sex to witness to one another.

      Delete

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Soaring Up In Sunshine
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