To the single ladies...upon valentine

So, valentines day is just around the corner and most singles out there are probably dreading it. You see, valentine’s day is the time when we singles are reminded full blast of our singleness . We find couples who seriously display their affection for each other on this day a little (a little? LOL) irritating, as if they’re purposefully rubbing it in our faces that we’re forever lonely. However, I personally don’t view being single as a lonely period as the world would have us believe. I see it as my alone time, my special time in life where I get to enjoy God without any distractions. This is the time the only man who gets my full attention is Christ, my bridegroom, my forever Valentine “...for I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband.” 2 Corinthians 11:2

Sure, a couple of wrong guys got my attention along the way and I came to realize after the heartaches that I don’t need to keep doing this to myself. I’m leaving my love story into the hands of my Creator. After all He made me and He knows the man who’s best suited and worthy of my attention and commitment.. I’ve resolved to stay fully committed to Christ until (and even after) that Godly man I pray to my Father for comes and pursues me as he should. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22  (Note that it's not she who finds a husband.) Stop trying to woo that guy or trying to get him to like you! If he likes you, he’ll want to be friends and pursue you in a Godly manner like the princess that you are. (Always remember your Father is the King of kings. :D )

If you’re single, this valentine, do not let all the sappy show of affection make you feel any less loved and happy. You are a child of God, and married to Christ right now. (Not that you abandon Him once you’re blessed with a Godly relationship. I hope you get my drift.) Decide that you’re not going to get you a cheap fix, some guy to while away the time so you don’t feel ‘lonely’. News flash: you don’t need a guy to make you happy! This is a truth I’m constantly waking up to. Seriously, we don’t need a guy to tell us the ‘perfect words’, heavily sugar coated and dripping with tooth decaying sweetness before we know we are beautiful and special.  Song of Solomon 1:15 says “Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves. Our identity is not found in a guy, it never was and never is. Our identity is firmly found in Christ, our bridegroom. Only the love of Christ makes us whole. Not some guy or some stuff.

Sometimes we tend to fill the void within us with all sorts of things that only rip us off of our peace and true happiness. That guy, the booze, that temporary high, the wild, crazy party life ...all these things are not going to give you guaranteed, lasting happiness. Only Christ can fill that void, that emptiness. He’s longing for you to come to Him and have a deep relationship with Him. One that is full of wisdom and blissful joy.  John 3:29 says” He who has the bride is the bridegroom; the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears Him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice; therefore this joy of mine is now full.”

 This valentine, as the television is full of lovey-dovey movies/shows, as couples affectionately show their love for each other, remember that you are dearly loved by someone special who suffered and died for your sake... Jesus. Remember that valentine’s day is not necessarily for couples only. You have family and friends who love you. You should as well let them know you love them too. (Showing affection to loved ones shouldn’t be limited to just valentine’s day. It should be a daily thing.)

 

 Show affection and kindness to a friend, a homeless person and even to yourself. Instead of expecting to receive a bouquet, a box full of heart shaped chocolates, cards or receiving special treatment, do something different. Give instead. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to some ice cream, some chocolates. Fix yourself some mouth watering dish, polish your nails, dance to some praise tunes. You don’t have to wait on some person to make you feel loved or happy. When your happiness is based on a human, it’s never really guaranteed. You need to create your own happiness and sunshine. Take your sunshine with you this valentine and the many days beyond, knowing that God, who’s Light, is the source of your shine.

 Most importantly, as a single, spend some time on this love day with God. Have a date with Him! This may sound ridiculous but hear me out. A date with God is setting time aside for only you and Him. Get familiar with your bridegroom, Jesus, by reading about Him and understanding and believing the wonderful truths He speaks about your life. Don’t see God as some distant Father, no. Establish a true relationship with Him and draw closer to Him. Journal about Him, pour out your heart to Him in prayer, meditate on the Word. Have some beautiful worship songs playing softly and when you feel a praise break coming, let it. Our Father loves for us to sing to Him. :-)

My dear single friends, this valentine, refuse to wallow in sadness and self-pity. Say no to sad, sappy chick flicks that leave you crying. Say no to stupid love songs that break your heart all over again with every single note... songs which bring memories of old that steal your joy. Say no to that fling! Hit ‘ignore’ for that booty call! You’re certainly not some piece of meat and you shouldn’t allow yourself to be reduced to such insignificance. You are a beautiful soul that deserves to be loved in an honorable way. Refuse to let in the carnal passions that keep knocking at your hearts door. Learn how to say NO! Don’t be a wandering soul who keeps looking for validation in men. What you don’t realize is you’re losing pieces of yourself in all those relationships... Dear one, keep in mind that sexual relations outside of marriage does not in any way equate to the true purity and beauty of love. A person that knows God knows how to genuinely love, because God is love... and love is patient in all things.

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“That you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” Philippians 2:15

 Dear friend, decide not to be part of the people that give themselves away around this period. Know your worth in Christ. Pray for a Godly man, believing that God is preparing him specially for you, just as He’s willing to guide you to also prepare yourself for your man while single. Don’t give up on love, no. Don’t push/force it to happen either. Practice some patience (I need a good doze of it, don’t we all? LOL), have some more faith. Love will find you where you are. And oh, what joy will that day bring, when you finally meet the right man who’ll come boldly and yet gently to pursue your beautiful heart. You’ll both fall sweetly and deeply in love with each other. You’ll love each other, flaws and all. You’ll be imperfectly perfect.

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you stir not up nor awaken love until it please.” Song of Solomon 8:4

 Embrace your singlehood dearie. You are worthy of a true gentleman, a man after God’s heart, who’s modelled after Jesus, the best gentleman ever to walk the surface of this earth. So save yourself all the drama and heartache and purposefully establish a deep relationship with Jesus while you’re single. I have come to believe He’s my rock, my ride or die... He’s the only One who truly has our backs. His love is an unadulterated, unconditional love that makes us whole. 
 

“And you have come to fullness of life in Him, who is the head of all rule and authority.” Colossians 2:10 

 “Jesus turned, and seeing her He said “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.”” Matthew 9:22

 Don’t you want Jesus to heal your brokenness and make you whole? I bet you do. So this valentine, share affection with your mom, pray for that homeless person... put on some red lipstick, pour yourself some good drink, and have a date with your ultimate bridegroom, Jesus.

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

You’re dearly loved darling! xoxo

Delali.