Learning To Say NO!

Hi dearies, I trust you are doing great! This one is a lil on the lengthy side cos its filled with so much yummy goodness. So grab a drink, get comfy and read on. ;)

A few Sundays back I was enjoying my walk from the junction of my University to my hostel after church service when I heard a car honk and someone called out to me. I turned my head sideways and saw this guy driving a beat up truck slowing down and smiling and asking me to come over for a ride. I gave him a wan smile and said I was alright walking cos I was almost at my hostel anyway. But he insisted and didn’t seem to give up so I said to myself, what could it hurt... I get to save some energy and sweat from walking under the glaring rays of the sun. So I crossed over to the other side of the street and got in the truck.

He was extremely friendly and started asking ‘’getting to know you’’ questions. From that short conversation however, I immediately got to know the type of guy he was. I mean which morally upright guy starts steering the first convo towards such things as ‘kissing’??? SMH Like dude, you even know I’m coming from church! But of course he had no shame. He was actually candid about telling me he is naughty! **alarm bells ringing** SMH some more.

 At the car park of my hostel, he asked for my digits and I nicely told him nahh, I don’t give my number out to guys who have no problem saying the kind of things he said. He insisted and insisted and I kept saying NO. I could tell I had bruised his ego big time cos he said he’s the type who doesn’t take no for an answer, but oh well I hope I’m the first to prove him wrong. He might have thought I was kidding and just playing a lil hard to get or something, but I didn’t mince my words. When my NO started to sink into his carnally clouded mind, he eventually stopped shoving his huge phone into my face. I got down and politely thanked him for the ride and walked away to my room with such dignity spurring in my heart.

I must have really taken him by surprise because after I climbed up the stairs to my room, I noticed from my window he was still packed outside. I found that odd because he had told me he doesn’t attend my school and that he was visiting his brother at one of the hostels at the other side of campus. So I began to think that what if he was just waiting to see which balcony I step out on so that he traces my room? I thought fast and quick and decided not to go to the balcony until he drove away. I mean I don’t want him stalking me and probably hurting me or something cos I turned him down. LOL So I did the wise thing of staying inside until I don’t even know when he drove his beat up truck away. 

I bet he thought I’m one of those girls who just go to church but live in an unbroken pattern of sin. You know, those girls who flash their Bibles around but never really read it and live it. There are too many ‘Christians’ out there who are lukewarm and live a double life. SMH No wonder he thought I was one of them. Wrong move bro, wrong move. He probably calls himself a Christian too...what a shame! And I didn’t want to bother giving him my number because he’s obviously company I do not want to have. I do selective friendships and relationships. I’m friendly to all but I don’t let just anybody in my space. He clearly didn’t have any respect for me and didn’t deserve my time.

“So, because you are lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth.” Revelations 3:16

“No man can serve two masters; for either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon.” Matthew 6:24

 When did it become ok for a guy to make suggestive moves to a lady especially in their very first conversation? I’m not some booty call. I know my worth and I have Godly standards that I honor. Because let’s be real, if I had gone against my standards and given my number to him, I would have ended up ignoring his calls and eventually blocking his number because it’s so obvious what he wanted from me. I don’t want any carnally filled guy blowing up my phone. It was simpler to avoid all that by saying a firm NO! At the end of it all his friendliness meant nothing really to me because the intentions behind them were thwarted and ungodly and his attempt to sound all sophisticated didn’t fool me either. 

“Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”” 1 Corinthians 15:33

Saying NO does not mean you’re rude and snobbish, it simply means you know who you are and you know who and what you don’t associate with. I prefer to be called rude by men for doing the things that please God than to be praised by men for doing what displeases God. We should learn how to say NO without sounding apologetic. If the person had no shame asking for whatever it is he/she is asking with ungodly intentions, then why should I feel guilty or ashamed to say NO?! If a guy has no shame wanting to fornicate with you, you should absolutely not hold back in telling him NO! Let your no, be no dear friends. Say it firmly without being aggressive. Say it because you really mean it. 

 

“So you will walk in the way of good men and keep to the paths of the righteous. For the upright will inhabit the land, and men of integrity will remain in it.” Proverbs 2:20,21

 

Say NO to that guy who only wants to get into your pants and end up messing you up. Say NO to negative peer pressure. Say NO to ungodly friendships and relationships. Say NO to all the worldly parties and clubbing. Say NO to the songs that get you sexually aroused and make you have lustful desires. Say NO to the sinful thoughts that work their way into your mind. Say NO to the perversion the media displays. Choose not to watch/listen to any of it. Say NO to the pornographic films you hide and watch! Fill your mind with the Word of God, ponder over it and you’ll be able to discern good from bad and wrong friends from Godly friends. I get tempted alright, but by keeping the Word in my heart and obeying God, I escape temptations. Sometimes it’s really really tough but I pull through. You see, the Word fills you up and helps you to live Godly... By all means be friendly, but you have to stop being too friendly and too polite by saying yes to everybody and the ungodly intentions they may have for you.  

Via

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23

“For the grace of God has appeared for the salvation of all men, training us to renounce irreligion and worldly passions, and to live sober, upright, and Godly lives in this world.” Titus 2:11,12

If your friendliness is causing you to sin, then you have to watch it! Filter everything/anybody that comes your way. Your life and body should be a dedication to God. Stop allowing just anything/anybody into your life. Your NO will attract rather nasty and unpleasant comments/responses sometimes or even most of the time, but that’s okay. Just hold your head up high, remember who you’re living for and continue walking in obedience to the Word. 

“And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away; it is better that you lose one of your members than that your whole body go into hell.” Matthew 5:30

 

“Indeed all who desire to live a Godly life in Christ Jesus will be persecuted.”  2 Timothy 3:12

I continually pray for God’s strength to grace my life to have the will to say NO to ungodliness. Saying okay to ungodliness will lead you right into sin. My dear, please be strong in the Lord, ok? Respect yourself enough to steer clear from compromising situations. Surround yourself with spiritual minded people, not carnal minded people. Be around people who build you up in Christ, people who want to help you live a pure life for God. I know such Godly people are hard to come by these days. Tell God you need Godly friendships. Be a Godly friend yourself, and you’ll attract Godly friendships into your life.

Dear friend, I want you to mull over the verse below. Think of all your friendships and relationships and all the things you do in your life and ask yourself if they urge you on to bear the fruits of the Spirit or otherwise. If they constantly lead you to sin, then my dear, you need to weed them out of your life, because they are not helping your walk with the Lord.

“Now the works of the flesh are plain; fornication, impurity, licentiousness, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, anger, selfishness, dissension, party spirit, envy, drunkenness, carousing and the like. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such there is no law. And those who belong to Christ have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.” Galatians 5:19-24

Please put a Godly value on yourself and let your NO, be NO! Jesus loves you wayyyy too much for you to continue hurting Him by giving in to sin. :) XOXO

 Delali