music monday// His daughter

Mistakes in this life are bound to be made. Sometimes we’re tricked into thinking choosing our own way, our own path apart from God is going to bring us fulfillment. Other times we throw ourselves into messes, thinking it’s going to drown out the initial pain we were carrying…only to be left more weary with marks of madness.

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 Oh, but the Lover of our souls is always ready to accept us with all of our brokenness. Jesus is calling and waiting for us to do life His way. And even when things fall apart, the Master Weaver knows how to weave the pieces together and create a lovely tapestry of testimonies. Maybe you’re dealing with the aftermath of abuse…maybe you strayed to find comfort in men, and that didn’t turn out great…maybe you mismanaged your funds and your account is swept clean, down to the dregs…maybe you’re facing divorce or the effects of your parents divorce…whatever it may be…when we run to the Healer, He has got to have a way of turning the ashes of your situation to beauty, He’s just got to. We need to trust and give things some time.

His daughter~ molly kate kestner

“Everything’s gonna be alright”

She whispers to herself

She was only 6 years old that night

As she hid behind that shelf

Cause daddy had a little too much to drink

And mama didn’t want her to feel the pain she felt

But she still felt the pain

Well 10 years they came and went

And dad was gone

So she looked for love in other men

And tried to act strong

Oh, broken hearts and scars in only places she could see

Cause she just wanted, she just wanted to feel something

And as she sat there on her bed

Thinking ‘bout what those girls said

Tears streamed down her eyes.

She cried…

if there’s a God out there

Please hear my prayer

I’m lost and I’m scared

And I’ve got nowhere else to go.

I’ve come a long, long way

But I’m not sure I can make it much farther

So if you’re listening, could You give a helping hand

To Your daughter

Well, her path started to change

She reached out and grabbed God’s grace

And finally, she saw a light

Until that night

Where she decided one drink was alright,

And one thing led to another

Next thing you know, 9 months go by,

She’s a mother

And as she laid there in that bed

Stroking that small angel’s head

Tears streamed down her eyes

She cried…

if there’s a God out there

Please hear my prayer

I’m lost and I’m scared

And I’ve got nowhere else to run.

I’ve come a long, long way

But I’m not sure I can be the best mother

So if You’re listening, could You give a helping hand

To Your daughter

Well that baby grew into a boy

Who became her pride and joy

He loved her like no man could

And her heart felt peace,

cause she finally understood God’s love

so as she laid there in that bed,

99 years old

She grabbed her son’s hand and said

“there’s something you must know…”

There is a God up there

Who heard my prayer

I was lost and afraid

And I had nowhere else to go

I had no clue what to do

And then He sent me you

So if you’re lost and afraid

And you feel so alone

Don’t worry child,

Cause there’s a Father who will love you as His own

Just like He loved His daughter

Like He loved His daughter.

Remember the prodigal son who squandered his inheritance? “‘…so he got up and went to his father. but while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms round him and kissed him…’” luke 15:20

“I tell you that in the same way there will be more rejoicing in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine righteous people who do not need to repent.” Luke 15:7

“and we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

Are you starving for affection? Please, don’t run to the wrong people and places. Run to Jesus. How? Read His Word and find what He says about you. How He says He loves you with an everlasting love….sing His truth over your soul…talk with Him…surround yourself with genuine, Jesus loving people who’ll speak truth into your life.

And I know, sometimes you don’t feel His love. but trust me, His love is constant, just like the sun. no matter how much we mess up, when we bring the broken pieces to Him, He knows what to do. Ours is to believe and be patient for the beauty that rises out of the brokenness. Jesus came to bring the lost into the kingdom of Heaven, He came to help those who admit they don’t have life figured out. He’s always calling us to Himself. And let’s be intentional to pursue Him when we run to Him.

xoxo, gen.

music monday// the sun is rising

Each person walking the face of this earth has some kind of battle they’re fighting. Some are good at pretending the battle doesn’t exist, some truly know how to count it all joy, and some wear the pain of it all. I’m a mixture of these some days. I’m learning how to really, really count it all joy. even when it seems my mind is exploding and falling apart, I have to choose to believe the sun is rising for me, that some clear joy is coming on some slowest train.

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 the sun is rising~ britt nicole

When life has cut too deep and left you hurting

The future you had hoped for is now burning

And the dreams you held so tight lost their meaning

And you don’t know if you’ll ever find the healing

You’re gonna make it, you’re gonna make it

The night can only last for so long

Whatever you’re facing

If your heart is breaking

There’s a promise for the ones who just hold on

Lift up your eyes and see

The sun is rising

Every high and every low you’re gonna go through

You don’t have to be afraid I am with you

In the moments you’re so weak you feel stopping

Let the hope you have light the road you’re walking

Even when you can’t imagine how

How you’re ever gonna find your way out

Even when you’re drowning in your doubt

Just look beyond the clouds

“The sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well-fed calves.” Malachai 4:2

“and the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.” 1 peter 5:10

“weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

“but the Lord said to him, ‘peace! Do not be afraid. You are not going to die.’” Judges 6:23

“he will call on Me, and I will answer him, I will be with him in trouble, I will deliver him and honor him.” psalm 91:15

I don’t know what battle you may be facing. But know that you are never alone. It may seem that clear joy and redemption are eluding you. But the Lord is not slow on His promises. He will deliver. His timing may not be our desired timing. Hold on. Do not give up. I know sometimes you just want to give up...i get to that point too. But let’s keep drawing strength from our Father through prayer. His grace-unmerited favor is sufficient for us.

xoxo, gen.

music monday// does anybody hear her

there’s a way that the bruises and pain of life can leave you with the strong desire to run away. I would know because all I’ve ever wanted to do is run away when it feels like it’s hard for me to breathe. 

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And I don’t necessarily mean running away literally. Although I would give anything to literally do. Running away in itself isn’t so bad…it’s what you’re running towards that matters. There were times when life just weighed on me and I run. I run to stupid movies and series to numb the pain. starved of affection and attention, the way I knew to deal was to run. I run to wrong friendships and relationships to escape some misery. But of course, there’s always a price to pay for such running. It leaves you more torn and weary in the end. Some run to food, alcohol, drugs, sex, negative peer pressure, pornography, crappy movies/tv series/songs…

but when you know better, you do better. I know better now to run to Jesus when I feel lost and alone. He’s my safe place.

This song reminds me of me, and how no matter what's going wrong now, I don’t want to be the me I used to be. the me who'd run to lifeless movies and songs and the wrong kind of people.

does anybody hear her~ casting crowns

she is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

she is trying but the canyon’s ever widening in the depths of her cold heart

so she sets out on another misadventure just to find

she’s another two years older and she’s three more steps behind

does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

Or does anybody even know she’s going down today

Under the shadow of our steeple

With all the lost and lonely people

Searching for the hope that’s tucked away in you and me

Does anybody hear her? Can anybody see?

She is yearning for shelter and affection

That she never found at home

She is searching for a hero to ride in, to ride in and save the day

And in walks her prince charming

And he knows just what to say

Momentary lapse of reason and she gives herself away

If judgment looms under every steeple

If lofty glances from lofty people

Can’t see past her scarlet letter

And we never even met her

He is running a hundred miles an hour in the wrong direction

“come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” Matthew 11:28

“here I am! I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in and eat with that person, and they with Me.” revelation 3:20

“brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” Galatians 6:1-2

“When the scribes and Pharisees saw Him eating with the tax collectors and sinners, they said to His disciples, “how is it that He eats and drinks with tax collectors and sinners?” when Jesus heard it, He said to them, those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. I did not come to call the righteous, but sinners, to repentance.” Mark 2:16-17

Perhaps you’re not the one running away from hurt or some pain towards danger. Perhaps there’s someone around you silently screaming to be noticed, desperately wanting for someone to listen and understand, without necessarily fixing what’s wrong. Listening, I’m learning is an important weapon in helping a broken heart heal. Are you watching? Paying attention? The signs? Personally, I become withdrawn when I’m dealing with stuff…uninterested in things that used to give me life. I’m usually quiet but I become knee-deep quiet.

So, pay attention to the souls around you. You could make such a huge difference by helping someone from running to the wrong things. your kind smile or words could save someone from falling into the deep end. we're not called as Christians to judge and point fingers at people who're lost..we're called to love them to life. I’m not saying to go pry into people’s lives in order to lend a listening ear or be holy ghost jr. But have the knack for noticing the silent signs…It could be a teenager in your neighborhood… a girl in your school seeking the wrong attention by showing way too much skin…let’s do well to be the hands and feet we’re called to be as the body of Christ. let's not be so wrapped up in our own worlds. 

We were wired to crave God, and anything we crave in His place becomes an idol.

xoxo, gen.

music monday// it's not enough

hi friends! so, this song! please do take the time to soak it all in lyric, by lyric.

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dustin kensrue~ it's not enough

Though all the wealth of men was mine to squander

And towers of ivory rose beneath my feet

Were palaces of pleasure mine to wander

The sum of it would leave me incomplete

Though every soul would hold my name in honor

And truest love was always by my side

My praises sang by grateful sons and daughters

My soul would never still be satisfied

It’s not enough, it’s not enough

I could walk the world forever

Till my shoes were filled with blood

It’s not enough, it’s not enough

Though I could live for all to lift them higher

Or spend the centuries seeking light within

Though I indulged my every dark desire

Exhausting every avenue of sin

It’s not enough, it’s not enough

I could walk the world forever

Till my shoes were filled with blood

It’s not enough, it’s not enough

I could right all wrongs, or ravage

Everything beneath the sun

It’s not enough, it’s not enough

To make me whole

It’s not enough, it never was

Awake my soul

It’s not enough, it never was

 It’s not enough, it’s not enough

I could walk the world forever

Till my shoes were filled with blood

It’s not enough, it’s not enough

I could right all wrongs, or ravage

Everything beneath the sun

it’s not enough, it’s not enough

though all would bow to me

till I could drink my fill of fear and love

it’s not enough, it’s not enough

what will it profit you to gain the world and lose your soul? mark 8:36 

seek first His Kingdom and righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you. matthew 6:33

my prayer for you and i is that money, material things, this fleeting world will not take room in our hearts. money is important, sure. but lets remember to seek God first in all we do. only Jesus can satisfy our parched souls. riches in itself aint evil. but what are you doing with what the Lord has blessed you with? i hope you're investing it into the Kingdom. remember the rich guy and lazarus in luke 16? okay...if you don't, you should probably make time to read it. it's real insighting, full of wisdom. Jesus is the answer to all..there're some things that even money can't do/solve...only the miraculous intervention of the Savior. ponder this some more.

xoxo, gen delali

music monday// lift my life up

unspoken is one of my new fav bands! There’s something about this song that pulls me in. have a listen and lemme know what you think.

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lift my life up~ unspoken

You brought me this far so why would I question You now

You have provided so why would I start to doubt

I’ve never been stranded, abandoned or left here to fight alone

So I’m giving you control

I lift my life, lift my life up

I give it all in surrender

I lift my heart, lift my heart up

You can have it forever

All my dreams, all my plans

Lord, I leave it in Your hands

I lift my life, lift my life up

Have Your way in me, have Your way in me

If peace is a river, then let it sweep over me

If I’m under fire I know it’s refining me

When I hear You calling out,

I follow now wherever the road may go

I know You’re leading me Home.

Take my life and let it be all for You.

“keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, ‘never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.’ So we say with confidence, ‘the Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can mere mortals do to me?’ ” Hebrews 13:5-6

“many are saying of me, ‘God will not deliver him.’ but you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high.” Psalm 3:2-3

It’s becoming increasingly clear to me that one of man’s greatest fears is being alone. God knew way before time that we’ll be bound to feel this way sometimes, and that is why He assures us time and time again that He is with us, and will never forsake us, so we needn’t be afraid. I used to be one who heavily craved my space and wanting to be alone without feeling terrible about it. I still crave for my space but interesting enough, these days I’m yearning for intimate, meaningful friendships, a safe community of friends who welcome vulnerability and sincerity, who understand that we don’t have it all together, and that’s ok.

I guess this yearning has always been there but it’s magnified at this point of my life than years past. And thoughts of who the special someone is going to be? Those thoughts are mixed thoughts of hope and uncertainty. God knows when and how He’ll sort it out. Mine is to keep praying about it and praying for the heart of this anonymous guy, while I keep pursuing the Lord. I know being alone doesn’t mean lonely. Yet when I’m alone these days it’s like loneliness tries to find its way to me. when this happens I remind myself that I have holy spirit within me + my guardian angel right by me, though I can’t physically see him. (to think that the angel is a him is kind of awkward, considering I’m a she, right? Oh well. shrugs.)

in the moments when you’re tempted to think you’ve been left alone to figure life out or that God has forgotten about you, know that those are lies. He said He’ll never leave or forsake us. Ours is to believe. Even in the darkest valley, He is with you. He is lifting your life up.

xoxo, gen delali.

music monday// little lies

There’re days when I have to literally speak the Word over me to fight doubt and negative thoughts. The enemy loves to try to defeat us in our minds, cause then our actions will follow suit on a self-destructive highway, and it’s downhill from there. But we must fight back. When negative thoughts try to break in into your mind like a flood, stand on the Word and secure the lock to your heart and mind with it.

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There’ll be days you may not feel beautiful, smart or talented enough. But feelings are tricky. We cannot trust our every feeling. When you wake up and you don’t feel like bathing + not feeling like showing up at work/school, what do you do? I’m very sure as much as you’d like to give in to those feelings you don’t however go along with them. Instead, you get up anyway and get your pretty self to work/school. See? We can’t go about living our lives based on every feeling that we have.

And then there’re people who’re careless with their words, who can say the most spiteful, hurting things to/about us. And all these things can try to weigh us down, but we have to fight back by focusing on positive things and listening to people who speak love and life into our souls. I fight back by reading and reminding myself of what God says about me in the scriptures, I sing and listen to songs of truth, I drift away from the negative people and draw closer to the ones who genuinely love me and speak truth over me even if they’re only a handful…sometimes it takes just one person at a time who believes in you to help you keep going on your journey.

Other times I speak to myself. no kidding. I give myself pep talks to soothe my troubled soul. And there’re times I remind myself of the stories of people who had a hard time in life and still made it through. Eg joseph and david in the Bible, the missionary called Darlene deibler rose; teen expert, josh shipp; the evangelist, Dwight l. moody; heather lindsey of pinky promise movement, john eldredge of ransomed heart, and inspiring stories of friends and friends of friends. etc I replay their stories in my mind and trust that God is faithful to see me through and finish what He has started in me too. this song is one of my go to when I desperately need to be reminded of Truth.

little lies~ the sonflowerz

Tell me, darling angel, do you lie awake sometimes oh oo

Fighting thoughts of failure, hating what you look like oh oo

Not good enough, you’ve been told.

Not fit for love is what you know

You’re packing up your bags with a million little lies

But tonight, come step into the light

Beauty awaits on the other side of these little lies

You can dance, go ahead, throw up your hands

Dare to live on the other side where the Truth resides

With another angle you could see the good that’s here oh oo

Where God designs a garden in the image in the mirror oh oo

Stop looking in, look out

Walls built within, fall down

Forgetting you ever lived in a prison of lies

You are not a mistake, don’t you be afraid

Hear the Truth calling you, calling you by name.

“for you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.” Psalm 139:13-14

“do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze…since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.” Isaiah 43:1-2,4

I know sometimes it’s hard to feel the love of God, especially when we’re going through hard things, but it doesn’t mean His love is not true and permanent. The sun is constantly shining. The fact that stormy clouds overshadow it and block our view sometimes doesn’t mean it stopped shining. Even if you don’t feel like the truth of the scriptures is good enough to pull you through, keep believing it. you can’t trust your every feeling, remember? Feelings are here, then they’re gone. But the Word of God is constant. You can outlive the feelings, you can out live the gossip, you can out live the fear.

I know, it can be such a struggle to get through some days. But because Christ overcame all these things and even death, we can overcome too cos the same spirit that rose Him from the dead is dwelling within our hearts. We need to believe and use the power we already have as children of God to rebuke and resist the demons and voices of negativity. No matter what life has dealt with you, please remember that you are dearly loved, friend. You are. Also, remember: God doesn’t make any junk. :)

xoxo, gen delali.

music monday// still that girl

Boy, don’t we all have dreams and goals and plans, when we’re in school, especially in college. It’s like the possibilities are endless, and you just can’t wait to take on the world after graduation. But you wake up into the future you held so close and realize it’s not all that blissful like you planned after all. 

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The cold water of reality splashes on your face and you say to yourself, ‘wait a minute. Is this life?!’ it’s like school was this safe shelter you had and all of a sudden you actually have to go out there and make a life. Whew! And it doesn’t help either when the opportunities in the field you’re passionate about are close to none for the now, and it scares you that you’ll end up in a dead-end job or miss out on graduate school entirely.

I’m going through this kind of reality. Plans and dreams aren’t panning out like I hoped and prayed countless of times for. But God knows what He’s up to, right? Yurp. I watched a film titled ‘this is our time’, and there’s this guy named ethan. his story is so close to mine, it comforts and encourages me in a way. You should check it out, it’s a great faith based film.

I bet you have some dreams that seem so distant at this point in your life. I know it hurts. I know you get scared sometimes. I know because I’m right there in it too. But there’s hope knowing that God is able to restore our broken dreams, and perhaps we are where God intended us to be. The lyrics of this song speak so much to me.

still that girl~ britt nicole

Dreams, they come

Plans, they change. Yeah, we’re gonna break

Things we face make us who we are

Baby, you’re a star shining in the dark

Let’s go back to the summer,

The summer when we dreamed in love

Let’s go back again, let’s go back again

Yeah, back again, my friend to the summer when…

I’m holding a picture from 7 years back

I smile at the memory, it’s smiling right back at me, and I see

Brown hair and bright eyes, such a beautiful blue,

A heart full of laughter with nothing to lose

That’s how I remember you

You were young, you were free

And you dared to believe you could be the girl

Who could change the world

Then your life took a turn

And you fell and it hurt

But you’re still that girl

And you’re gonna change this world

Woa oo oo o o o, you’re still that girl

Sometimes life don’t go the way you planned

And we all have days when we just don’t understand

Searching for meaning, it’s not always easy

But your story’s not over, it’s still being told

Your sunrise is coming, brighter than gold

Lets go back again to the summer when

What if the picture is bigger than you see

And God has you right where He wants you to be

Just listen to your heart

He’s telling you with every beat

You’re still that girl

You were young, you were free

And you dared to believe you could be the girl

Who could change the world

Then your life took a turn

And you fell and it hurt

But you’re still that girl

And you’re gonna change this world

Woa oo oo o o o, you’re still that girl

I see it in your eyes, I see it in your smile

You’re still that girl

“trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your path.” Proverbs 3:5-6

“to humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the Lord comes the proper answer of the tongue.” Proverbs 16:1

“in their hearts humans plan their course, but the Lord establishes their steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Your heart may be broken over how things unexpectedly have taken a turn, but remember that just because you’re lost doesn’t mean you’re alone. You’re never alone. Nothing is wasted. Take heart, friend! You’ll look back someday and see that God intentionally redirected you in order to walk in the purpose He planned all along for you.

xoxo, gen delali