praying for your husband

hi guys! so, guy talk today. ;) 

i remember years back through my teen years till young adulthood, i didn't particularly pray for the guy who was going to be my hubby. i prayed about other stuff like good health, protection, wisdom, provision...but the thought of praying for the one guy who was going to be joined with me to become one flesh? psht! it escaped me. totally. looking back i wonder how i missed that important part of me.

i thought, well, whichever fine, God-fearing guy it will be... well, que sera, sera, you know. like, aahh, don't get so serious about it, it'll figure itself out. whaaat?! i know. praying for the future hubby wasn't really my priority. i forgot that the enemy is out there seeking to kill, steal and destroy. and that i needed to pray for his protection, spiritual growth, his walk with the Lord. i was like, erh, when i grow up and  meet a potential then i'll start to pray that prayer. not now. now is too young and far from the future. fail.

but thank God that mentality began to change two years ago. i realized the importance of covering my future hubby in God's love and grace. i began to hit my knee and pray for his character, and even for our unborn kids, our future family. prayer is so powerful! it changes things, ya'll. it's a game changer. it causes destinies to be changed for the better. 

"Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, 'oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that i will be free from pain.' and God granted his request." 1 chronicles 4:10

"and pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. with this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints. ephesians 6:18

i stumbled upon this post a few months ago which talked about 31 days of praying for your husband. the prayer plan is originally by nancy leigh demoss. although it's intended for wives praying for their current husbands, i've decided to go ahead to use it in praying for my future hubby. ;) and i'll pray similar prayers for me alongside too, to be the Godly wife he needs. so august is going to be rich, full of beautiful, hard, much needed prayers!

Day 1 

Pray that your husband will grow spiritually and consider his accountability before the Lord. Pray that he will guard his heart by developing spiritual disciplines—Bible reading and study, prayer, meditation, scripture memorization, etc. (2 Peter 3:18; Prov. 4:23)

Day 2 
Pray that your husband’s relationship with God and His Word will bear fruit in his life. Pray that he will be a man of wisdom and understanding, fearing the Lord. (Prov. 3:7, 9:10; Ps. 112:1)

Day 3 
Pray that your husband will be humble and quick to agree with God about his sin. Pray that his heart will be tender toward the voice of the Lord. (Ps. 51:2-4; Micah 6:8)

Day 4
Pray that your husband will grow in leadership skills in your relationship—protecting and providing for you. Pray that he will lead you wisely and love you sacrificially, so that God will be glorified in your marriage. (Eph. 5:25-29; Col. 3:19)

Day 5
Pray that your husband will be faithful to his wedding vows. Pray that he will have a desire to cultivate your relationship as a sign of his loyalty and commitment to you, and as a picture of Christ’s love for the Church. (Prov. 20:6; Gen. 2:24)

Day 6
Pray that your husband will love righteousness and hate wickedness, especially the evils of the culture. Pray that he will recognize and avoid wickedness in his own life, and if necessary, take a clear, strong stand against evil. (Prov. 27:12; John 17:15; 1 Cor. 10:12-13)

Day 7
Pray that your husband will safeguard his heart against inappropriate relationships with the opposite sex. Pray that his heart will be pure and undivided in his commitment to you. (Prov. 6:23-24, 26; Rom. 13:14)

Day 8
Pray that your husband will work hard to provide for your family, to the best of his ability. Pray that the character qualities necessary for a successful career and ministry will be a growing part of his character—persistence, decisiveness, strength, an analytical mind, organizational skills, positive relationships with people, determination, etc. (Rom. 12:11; 1 Cor. 15:58)

Day 9
Pray that your husband handle finances wisely, will have discernment concerning budgeting and investments, and will be a good steward of his money in regard to giving to the Lord’s work. Pray that money will not become a source of discord in your family. (Prov. 23:4-5; Rom. 12:13; Heb. 13:5)

Day 10
Pray that your husband will cultivate strong integrity, and not compromise his convictions. Pray that his testimony will be genuine, that he will be honest in his business dealings, and will never do anything that he needs to hide from others. (Prov. 20:7; 1 Tim. 1:5, 3:7; Eph. 6:10-12)

Day 11
Pray that your husband will have a humble, teachable spirit and a servant’s heart before the Lord. Pray that he will listen to God and desire to do His will. (Prov. 15:33; Eph. 6:6)

Day 12
Pray that your husband will yield his sexual drive to the Lord and practice self control. Pray that your sexual intimacy together will be fresh, positive, and a reflection of selfless love. (Prov. 5:15, 18; 1 Cor. 7:3; Song of Solomon 7:10)

Day 13
Pray that your husband use practical skills to build your family and make wise decisions for your welfare. Pray that he will serve unselfishly. (Gal. 5:13; Phil. 2:3-4)

Day 14
Pray that your husband will speak words that build you and your family, and reflect a heart of love. Pray that he will not use filthy language. (Prov. 18:21; Eph. 4:29)

Day 15

Pray that your husband will choose his friends wisely. Pray that God will bring him men who will encourage his accountability before God, and will not lead him into sin. (Prov. 13:20; Prov. 27:17)

Day 16

Pray that your husband will choose healthy, God-honoring activities. Pray that he will not live in bondage to any questionable habits or hobbies, but that he will experience freedom in holiness as he yields to the Spirit’s control. (1 Cor. 6:12, 10:31; 2 Tim. 2:4)

Day 17
Pray that your husband will enjoy his manliness as he patterns his life after Christ and strong men in the faith. Pray for his physical, emotional, mental, social and spiritual strength. (Eph. 3:16; 1 Peter 2:21; 1 Cor. 10:11)

Day 18
Pray that your husband will have an eternal perspective—living in light of eternity. Pray that he will reject materialism and temporal values and put God first in his life. (Matt. 6:33; Deut. 6:5; Eph. 5:16; Ps. 90:12)

Day 19
Pray that your husband will be patient and a man of peace. Pray that he will not give in to anger, but will allow the Holy Spirit to control his responses. (Rom. 14:19; Ps. 34:14)

Day 20
Pray that your husband will yield his mind and thoughts to the Lord. Pray that he will not entertain immoral or impure thoughts, and that he will resist the temptation to indulge in pornography. (Prov. 27:12; 2 Cor. 10:5)

Day 21
Pray that your husband will learn how to relax in the Lord and, in his greatest times of stress, find joy and peace in his relationship with God. Pray that he will submit his schedule to the Lord. (Neh. 8:10; Prov. 17:22; Ps. 16:11)

Day 22
Pray that your husband will practice forgiveness in your relationship and with others. Pray that he will recognize any roots of bitterness, and yield any resentment and unforgiving attitudes to the Lord. (Eph. 4:32; Heb. 12:15)

Day 23
Pray that your husband will be a good father—disciplining his children wisely and loving them unconditionally. If he is not a father, pray that he will find a young man to mentor in the things of the Lord. (Eph. 6:4; Col. 3:21; 2 Tim. 2:1-2)

Day 24
Pray that your husband will have a balanced life—that he will balance work and play. Pray that he will fear God, but also gain favor with people he knows at work and church. (Luke 2:52; Prov. 13:15)

Day 25
Pray that your husband will be courageous in his stand against evil and injustice, and that he will stand for the truth. Pray that he will protect you and your family from Satan’s attacks. (Ps. 31:24; Eph. 6:13; Ps. 27:14)

Day 26
Pray that your husband will discover and live his God-given purpose. Pray that he will offer all his dreams to the Lord, and pursue only those goals that will bring God glory and count for eternity. (Jer. 29:11; 1 Cor. 10:31)

Day 27
Pray that your husband will understand the importance of taking care of his body—the temple of the Holy Spirit—for the glory of God. Pray that he will practice self-control by making wise food choices, and get sufficient exercise to stay healthy. (Rom. 12:1-2; 1 Cor. 6:19-20, 9:27)

Day 28
Pray that your husband will be a man of prayer. Pray that he will seek and pursue God in purposeful quiet times. (1 Thess. 5:17; Luke 22:46; James 5:16)

Day 29
Pray that your husband will surrender his time and talents to the Lord. Pray that his spiritual gifts will be manifest in his career, at church, and in your home. (Eph. 5:15-16; 1 Cor. 12:4, 7)

Day 30
Pray that your husband will serve God and others with pure motives. Pray that he will obey the Lord from his heart, and glorify Him in everything. (1 Cor. 10:13; John 7:17-18; Col. 3:23-24)

Day 31
Pray that your husband will recognize the lies of the Enemy in his life. Pray that his attitudes and actions will be guided by the truth as he brings his thoughts into captivity to the Word of God. (John 8:44; 2 Cor. 10:4-5)

whether you're single or married, i believe this is a great tool/mini devotional of a sort to pray for the man you'll be joined to in marriage or the one you're already married to.

 xoxo, delali.

have you considered praying for your future husband? will you join me to pray for our [future] hubbies?

[all photos are directly linked to their source.]

a letter to my future husband

dear future husband, today is one of several days that I’ve gone on my knees to talk to our Father about you. I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately, and I’ve got to admit that I miss you. Crazy huh? We haven’t met and yet I miss you. I miss you not because I hold any memories of you and us yet, but I miss you because of all the memories I’m dying patiently waiting to make with you.

"I charge you, o daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." song of solomon 2:7

In my desperation to meet you, I blindly and foolishly tried to turn the wrong guys into you and tried so hard to see you in guys that were nothing like you, and expecting them to be my savior when Jesus is the only person who can save me. I blame this on my lukewarmness in Christ and hence my lack of proper discernment. And if you’ve been anything like me in this regard, I forgive you, and I believe you will too.

But I’ve grown, still growing in the knowledge of Christ and allowing my mind to be renewed and my heart to be healed by Him. I’m glad to say there’s a distinct distance between the days of me being a “Christian” and me actively pursuing Christ and dying to self. It’s been a few years now, and it’s been hard, but I’m hanging on. I’ve handed over the broken pieces of my heart to our Savior, knowing that He’s the only one who can fix me, and trusting that He’ll hand a good piece of my heart to you because you love Him and in pursuit of Him too. Since I don’t believe in the mythical “soul mate”, you know, this one person on the face of the earth who’ll be the only guy for me, I’m following the pointers in the love letters of Daddy that’ll make me recognize you as my potential hubby among other Godly guys. (you gotta raise your game, babe. ;))

via

I’ve embraced this special season of alone time with daddy God, and I’m learning a lot. I’m learning how to respect you and love you unconditionally the way Daddy talks about in 1 corinthians. I’m learning how I’ll submit to you as the head of our home, how I’ll need to trust your leadership and be the best helpmate to you, thanks to ephesians.

I’ve been praying that you grow in Christ too, that you use your time as a single to know more about our Savior and how Daddy needs us to live. I pray that we use this time to passionately serve Daddy and others too, that we both develop our talents (did I mention I’m learning the guitar? *giggles*), that we intentionally share the good news of the salvation of our friend and brother, Jesus, and really be the salt and light of the world. Spending our time wisely this way will allow us to love our temporary single gig, trust me. ;)

I pray that your identity is found in Christ and Him alone, that you will wait patiently to meet me and pursue me like Christ pursues the church, His bride. I want you to choose me, to want me and love me as your partner for the rest of our lives on this side of heaven. I’m done with the games those other guys played, and I want you to be sure of me and choose me. Cos darling, our Daddy says “he that finds a wife finds a good thing”. I’m trusting Daddy to write our love story, I’m counting on Him for the timing, the moment when our paths will finally cross. And it wouldn’t be just sunshine & rainbows & butterflies, but we’ll intentionally choose to love each other.

via

I pray that we’ll court in a manner that is pleasing unto Daddy, that we keep our purity and flee from temptation for our own good. I dream of spending time with you in prayer, and chatting about Daddy’s love letters to us. I dream of taking walks with you, having picnics together by a gentle, quiet water, going on hikes, biking and camping together. I dream of going fruit picking, and visiting farmers markets with you. I dream of relishing in the simple, yet lovely moments with you. I dream of serving and being the hands & feet of Daddy with you, sharing the good news where we we’ll be and going the distance to do the same.  (your girl’s quite the dreamer. but of course, with Daddy, our dreams in His will come true. :) )

via

 The moment we marry in the presence of Daddy, is when you will then become the one, my soul mate at last. I dream of chatting with you in bed late at night and giggling with you over silly, lovely things. I dream of taking road trips with you, singing our songs with the glasses rolled down and the wind in our hair. I hope that we’ll both have a child-like faith in Daddy God all the time. I hope to go on missions with you when we get the opportunity to. I dream of making sweet, beautiful babies with you when Daddy blesses us with them. I dream of raising them up with you, in the knowledge and wisdom of God, teaching them His true and sure ways. I pray that you’ll never abuse your authority as the leader of our family, but that you’ll love me well and be a great teacher to our kids. I pray that we’ll grow old together and be full of so much love for each other still. I pray that on the bad and hard days, we’ll pray for strength and patience to keep loving on each other.

via

Dear future husband, I pray that we’ll choose each waking day to do life together and never cease to drink from the fountain of Jesus Christ, our rock. I pray that our marriage will be a shining picture of the relationship between Jesus and His bride, the church, that our marriage will point people to Christ and be a witness to Love Himself. and I pray that you pray for me as I do for you, that you hope and dream of these things and more for us as I do.

via

But until we do meet and live our broken yet beautiful lives, I’ll keep living a meaningful life for the greatness of Daddy’s Kingdom (our eternal home), a life that honors you. I’ll be patient while I wait for you. And on the lonely nights, I’ll talk to Daddy about you and read some more of the love letters in the Bible.

like brooke fraser says, and like I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summer’s start, neither should I rush my way into your heart. I’ll be waiting for you baby, I’ll be holding back the darkest night. Love is waiting till we’re ready, till it’s right.

your wife in waiting,

xoxo,

genevieve delali.

For the single ladies...and men too!

Today, I would like to share some great insight I picked up from the singles’ summit my church hosted last month. Trust me, it’s that good. Here goes...

So, as a single, before you go about focusing on a potential spouse’s strengths and weaknesses, you need to answer a question: if you found someone exactly like you, would you marry that person? If the person has the same beliefs, habits, likes/dislikes, quirks, passions, flaws as you... would you marry the person?

Thing is, you need to be miss/mr. right. You need to be Godly yourself before asking God for a Godly partner. The journey starts with you. Develop yourself first. Becoming a Godly person is a process, not an event. You develop yourself for life, not just marriage. Truth be told, marriage isn’t everything. Marriage isn’t a destination. It’s not an end in itself. It’s the beginning of another phase in your life.

In developing yourself, there are three important relationships you need to pay attention to:

·         The vertical relationship: this represents your personal relationship with God. You need to develop a strong passion for God. “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the law?” And He said to him, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. Matthew 22:36 Ask yourself, “What am I ready to sacrifice for God?” Fall in love with God’s Word and obey it. Let the Word of God affect your personal life. (Joshua 1:8, 1 Peter 2:2, Psalm 119:11)

·         The horizontal relationship: this represents your personal relationship with other people. You need to learn how to relate with others, how to love people (yes, including the ‘not-so-lovables.’) “Beloved, let us love one another; for love is of God, and he who loves is born of God and knows God. He who does not love does not know God; for God is love.” 1 John 4: 7-8 Develop a social life (Lord knows I need to. Lol I barely hang out with friends lately), surround yourself with Godly friends and be hospitable. Have good clean fun. (Proverbs 18:24, Ecclesiastes 11:9) Some things you can do socially with friends are; eat out at a restaurant, have a cookout, go watch a good movie, take a tour/trip. You’ve got to relate positively with the opposite sex without having sex with them, kissing/touching them. (1 Timothy 5:1-2) You need to learn how to disagree without being aggressive and learn to be a door, not a door-mat.

·         The internal relationship: this is the relationship you have with yourself. How you see yourself goes a long way to affect how you relate with others. Have a vision for your life because a person without goals needs no helpmate. Develop a healthy self-esteem. See yourself the way God sees you. Do not devalue yourself. “Do you not know that you are God’s temple and that God’s Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God’s temple, God will destroy him. For God’s temple is holy, and that temple you are.” 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 Fall in love with wisdom and knowledge. Have a great appetite for knowledge. Read wide and develop yourself. (Proverbs 3:13-15)                                                                                                                                                            

Are you surrounded with bad marriages? Ok, then I’m sure you’ll relate to the next couple of points. 

Challenges with bad marriages in relation to singles.

1.      Singles get to find out how unhappy some people can be in marriage and this scars them off.

2.      Singles get to see respectable friends turn into horrific wives and husbands due to issues in the marriage and have second thoughts about marrying.

3.      Singles are forced into becoming marriage counsellors by disgruntled married people.

4.      Singles are approached for illicit sexual relationships by unhappy married people.

The effects of such bad marriages on singles are:

·         Skepticism: singles begin to think there’re no genuine happy marriages out there. You start to generalise and say all men/women are liars/cheats.

·         Fear: you begin to think the chances of your marriage working are very low.

·         Pessimism: you start to think marriage is a trap and should be avoided where possible.

·         Mercenary: you see marriage to be all about looking out for yourself instead of looking out for your partner too.

     So you ask yourself, “is there hope?” Well, you’re more likely to hear about a bad marriage than a good one- bad news travels fast!

Remember these:

·         The fact that others failed, if even they were your parents doesn’t necessarily mean your marriage will also fail.
·         Beware of what you make of the bad stories you hear about peoples’ marriages- you may not be hearing the whole story. “He who states his case first seems right, until the other comes and examines him.” Proverbs 18:17
·         Learn from other people’s mistakes and bad experience. (Proverbs 24:30-34)
·         God instituted marriage and He’s the best one to advice on it- not friends or traditions. Seek Godly counsel. (Proverbs 24:3-6)

How should I approach my relationship/marriage you may ask. First, learn some lessons from Abraham in Genesis 24:1-20. See how he didn’t want his son Isaac to be unequally yoked with any of the daughters of the Canaanites? Exactly. “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership have righteousness and iniquity? Or what fellowship has light with darkness?” 2 Corinthians 6:14

Love is not blind. Open your eyes and know what you’re looking for in a partner. Know that marriage is not your destination, it’s a stage in life (Colossians 3:17-19). Never sacrifice your relationship with God on the altar of marriage (1 Peter 2:9).

Six pillars of your approach to a relationship leading to marriage.

1.      Conviction- your faith is non-negotiable. You probably really like someone but he/she isn’t a Christ follower. What do you do? It’s simple. Do not compromise, hoping that you’ll be able to change them. It’s a no-no. And do not throw away your Christian faith to be with the person either.

2.      Consultation- seek God’s guidance and pastoral counsel. Never commit your life to a man/woman who isn’t ready to see your pastor for counselling.

3.      Core values of the person- find out the values of the person because the values the person holds makes the real person.

4.      Character- granted, no one is perfect, but some traits are inexcusable. Know that the flaws which you decide are excusable about the person may or may not change. So, are you ready to live with those flaws?

5.      Companions- the association of the person says a lot about him/her. Are his/her friends Godly people or are their behaviour and beliefs questionable? “He who walks with wise men becomes wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.” Proverbs 13:20

6.      Charm- the person’s charm may be great and even intriguing, but charm my dear, is temporary. “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.” Proverbs 31:30 I believe this verse doesn’t apply to only women but men too.

Dear single ladies (and men) out there, remember to first be the Godly person a Godly man/woman will be attracted to. And never settle for less than you’re worth. Marriage is no joke. Be patient and pray about that special someone. Oh, and ladies, let the guy find you and pursue you! Not the other way round. :) Ponder over “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favour from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22 and “Therefore a man leaves his father and mother and cleaves to his wife, and they become one flesh.” Genesis 2:24

This post is a lil lengthy, but thanks for sticking through till the end. I hope you’ve gained some crisp, fresh insight. ;)

Keep praying, and be patient. xoxo

Delali.