a letter to my future husband

dear future husband, today is one of several days that I’ve gone on my knees to talk to our Father about you. I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately, and I’ve got to admit that I miss you. Crazy huh? We haven’t met and yet I miss you. I miss you not because I hold any memories of you and us yet, but I miss you because of all the memories I’m dying patiently waiting to make with you.

"I charge you, o daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the does of the field, do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases." song of solomon 2:7

In my desperation to meet you, I blindly and foolishly tried to turn the wrong guys into you and tried so hard to see you in guys that were nothing like you, and expecting them to be my savior when Jesus is the only person who can save me. I blame this on my lukewarmness in Christ and hence my lack of proper discernment. And if you’ve been anything like me in this regard, I forgive you, and I believe you will too.

But I’ve grown, still growing in the knowledge of Christ and allowing my mind to be renewed and my heart to be healed by Him. I’m glad to say there’s a distinct distance between the days of me being a “Christian” and me actively pursuing Christ and dying to self. It’s been a few years now, and it’s been hard, but I’m hanging on. I’ve handed over the broken pieces of my heart to our Savior, knowing that He’s the only one who can fix me, and trusting that He’ll hand a good piece of my heart to you because you love Him and in pursuit of Him too. Since I don’t believe in the mythical “soul mate”, you know, this one person on the face of the earth who’ll be the only guy for me, I’m following the pointers in the love letters of Daddy that’ll make me recognize you as my potential hubby among other Godly guys. (you gotta raise your game, babe. ;))

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I’ve embraced this special season of alone time with daddy God, and I’m learning a lot. I’m learning how to respect you and love you unconditionally the way Daddy talks about in 1 corinthians. I’m learning how I’ll submit to you as the head of our home, how I’ll need to trust your leadership and be the best helpmate to you, thanks to ephesians.

I’ve been praying that you grow in Christ too, that you use your time as a single to know more about our Savior and how Daddy needs us to live. I pray that we use this time to passionately serve Daddy and others too, that we both develop our talents (did I mention I’m learning the guitar? *giggles*), that we intentionally share the good news of the salvation of our friend and brother, Jesus, and really be the salt and light of the world. Spending our time wisely this way will allow us to love our temporary single gig, trust me. ;)

I pray that your identity is found in Christ and Him alone, that you will wait patiently to meet me and pursue me like Christ pursues the church, His bride. I want you to choose me, to want me and love me as your partner for the rest of our lives on this side of heaven. I’m done with the games those other guys played, and I want you to be sure of me and choose me. Cos darling, our Daddy says “he that finds a wife finds a good thing”. I’m trusting Daddy to write our love story, I’m counting on Him for the timing, the moment when our paths will finally cross. And it wouldn’t be just sunshine & rainbows & butterflies, but we’ll intentionally choose to love each other.

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I pray that we’ll court in a manner that is pleasing unto Daddy, that we keep our purity and flee from temptation for our own good. I dream of spending time with you in prayer, and chatting about Daddy’s love letters to us. I dream of taking walks with you, having picnics together by a gentle, quiet water, going on hikes, biking and camping together. I dream of going fruit picking, and visiting farmers markets with you. I dream of relishing in the simple, yet lovely moments with you. I dream of serving and being the hands & feet of Daddy with you, sharing the good news where we we’ll be and going the distance to do the same.  (your girl’s quite the dreamer. but of course, with Daddy, our dreams in His will come true. :) )

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 The moment we marry in the presence of Daddy, is when you will then become the one, my soul mate at last. I dream of chatting with you in bed late at night and giggling with you over silly, lovely things. I dream of taking road trips with you, singing our songs with the glasses rolled down and the wind in our hair. I hope that we’ll both have a child-like faith in Daddy God all the time. I hope to go on missions with you when we get the opportunity to. I dream of making sweet, beautiful babies with you when Daddy blesses us with them. I dream of raising them up with you, in the knowledge and wisdom of God, teaching them His true and sure ways. I pray that you’ll never abuse your authority as the leader of our family, but that you’ll love me well and be a great teacher to our kids. I pray that we’ll grow old together and be full of so much love for each other still. I pray that on the bad and hard days, we’ll pray for strength and patience to keep loving on each other.

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Dear future husband, I pray that we’ll choose each waking day to do life together and never cease to drink from the fountain of Jesus Christ, our rock. I pray that our marriage will be a shining picture of the relationship between Jesus and His bride, the church, that our marriage will point people to Christ and be a witness to Love Himself. and I pray that you pray for me as I do for you, that you hope and dream of these things and more for us as I do.

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But until we do meet and live our broken yet beautiful lives, I’ll keep living a meaningful life for the greatness of Daddy’s Kingdom (our eternal home), a life that honors you. I’ll be patient while I wait for you. And on the lonely nights, I’ll talk to Daddy about you and read some more of the love letters in the Bible.

like brooke fraser says, and like I can’t force the sun to rise or hasten summer’s start, neither should I rush my way into your heart. I’ll be waiting for you baby, I’ll be holding back the darkest night. Love is waiting till we’re ready, till it’s right.

your wife in waiting,

xoxo,

genevieve delali.