Monday, 27 October 2014

music monday// freefall

if you haven't caught the wind of my not-so-subtle hints, i'm in an in-between season. a transitional period. see, i had plans that were mine. not necessarily what God had planned for me. and what did He do? He came like the hurricane and tore my plans apart. my 'safe', 'comfortable, white-picket-fence-with-a-little-risk-only-during-summer plans. it hurt. i was angry. 
He has made clear what His blueprint for me for this season and the one ahead is supposed to be. i was overwhelmed by it, still kinda overwhelmed if i should be honest. i love the Lord and all, but i never imagined for me what He's telling me. it's a scary, unknown for me. and i had a choice to force and patch up my plans together or trust and obey His perfect plan for me. as hard as it was and still is, i chose His. i'm still choosing His. cos i know His plans are far better than my wildest dreams. 

not gonna lie, the waiting is hard and sometimes restless, but despite it, or should i say because of it, i have such joy and peace(the kind He offers in philippians 4:6) that i couldn't have imagined to ever have in the situation. i am fighting for my joy like never before and basking in the love of my Father, soaking in all the precious time i get to spend with Him in this special time. i refuse to let my waiting be one wrapped in passiveness. i choose to serve Him and others and worship as i wait. 

and so, here i am, finding myself in a 'be still' season. initially, i didn't know i was supposed to have a waiting season. i thought well, since you've blown my plans apart, Lord, though i don't understand, fine. let's do this, let's start what You have for me to do. and all i get is crickets...i don't know how long this season will draw out, i don't know when He'll have me start doing what He's told me i'll be doing. but i will wait. and trust. i know, i sound kinda vague right now. but in time, i'll fill ya'll in with the juicy details. pinky promise. ;) long story cut short, He has me in a free fall, and i don't know how and when i'm landing. and that's ok.

freefall~ royal tailor
two steps beyond the edge, i can't undo this leap of faith, takes my breath away.
so high above the ground, You've got me hanging in mid air, between here and there
now all i have is You.

i'm not afraid, i know i'm safe. it's a chance but my choice is made.
i'm not alone, You won't let go. and i know through it all, You hold me in the free fall.

if i just believe my eyes, i'd see i should be terrified, but i'm so alive.
i don't know how or when, but i believe that You'll come through.
Lord, i'm trusting You. can't wait to see what You will do.

i'm falling, i'm falling, i'm falling.
You got me falling from the sky with no parachute, thinking i can fly.
but i know it's You who got me up here, no fear, no tears
mind's clear, cause i know You're here. i know You're here.
can't wait to see what You will do.

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." isaiah 40:31

"but as for me, i watch in hope for the Lord, i wait for God my Savior, my God will hear me." micah 7:7

"the One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it." 1 thessalonians 5:24

"trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path." proverbs 3:5-6

"and without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." hebrews 11:6

"...yet he[abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He promised." romans 4:20

"...and we boast in the hope of the glory of God. not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." romans 5:2-5

"for in this hope we were saved. but hope that is seen is no hope at all. who hopes for what they already have? but if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." romans 8:24-25

so, yeah. am i glad God knocked over my seemingly well-placed cards? absolutely! at first it sucked. like, ugh God, what are you doing?! you're messing my plans! but what a privilege to go on an adventure with the Lord, to get to see the story He originally intended roll out in chapters, beautifully unfold! i know the highest form of holiness is the release of my will to submit to God's will. the legends in the Bible had a waiting season before the ripening of their purpose, and this is mine. i know i've chosen right. so though a lil bit of anxiety plays out in this chapter, that's ok, cos i'm riding on the wings of faith, and i know Love will have the final word. 

sorrow may close the chapter, but the story will end with laughter~ jason gray

has God had you in a free fall season before? how did it go?

xoxo, gen delali.

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