music monday// freefall

if you haven't caught the wind of my not-so-subtle hints, i'm in an in-between season. a transitional period. see, i had plans that were mine. not necessarily what God had planned for me. and what did He do? He came like the hurricane and tore my plans apart. my 'safe', 'comfortable, white-picket-fence-with-a-little-risk-only-during-summer plans. it hurt. i was angry. 

via

He has made clear what His blueprint for me for this season and the one ahead is supposed to be. i was overwhelmed by it, still kinda overwhelmed if i should be honest. i love the Lord and all, but i never imagined for me what He's telling me. it's a scary, unknown for me. and i had a choice to force and patch up my plans together or trust and obey His perfect plan for me. as hard as it was and still is, i chose His. i'm still choosing His. cos i know His plans are far better than my wildest dreams. 

not gonna lie, the waiting is hard and sometimes restless, but despite it, or should i say because of it, i have such joy and peace(the kind He offers in philippians 4:6) that i couldn't have imagined to ever have in the situation. i am fighting for my joy like never before and basking in the love of my Father, soaking in all the precious time i get to spend with Him in this special time. i refuse to let my waiting be one wrapped in passiveness. i choose to serve Him and others and worship as i wait. 

and so, here i am, finding myself in a 'be still' season. initially, i didn't know i was supposed to have a waiting season. i thought well, since you've blown my plans apart, Lord, though i don't understand, fine. let's do this, let's start what You have for me to do. and all i get is crickets...i don't know how long this season will draw out, i don't know when He'll have me start doing what He's told me i'll be doing. but i will wait. and trust. i know, i sound kinda vague right now. but in time, i'll fill ya'll in with the juicy details. pinky promise. ;) long story cut short, He has me in a free fall, and i don't know how and when i'm landing. and that's ok.

freefall~ royal tailor

two steps beyond the edge, i can't undo this leap of faith, takes my breath away.

so high above the ground, You've got me hanging in mid air, between here and there

now all i have is You.

i'm not afraid, i know i'm safe. it's a chance but my choice is made.

i'm not alone, You won't let go. and i know through it all, You hold me in the free fall.

if i just believe my eyes, i'd see i should be terrified, but i'm so alive.

i don't know how or when, but i believe that You'll come through.

Lord, i'm trusting You. can't wait to see what You will do.

i'm falling, i'm falling, i'm falling.

You got me falling from the sky with no parachute, thinking i can fly.

but i know it's You who got me up here, no fear, no tears

mind's clear, cause i know You're here. i know You're here.

can't wait to see what You will do.

"but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. they will soar on wings like eagles, they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint." isaiah 40:31

"but as for me, i watch in hope for the Lord, i wait for God my Savior, my God will hear me." micah 7:7

"the One who calls you is faithful, and He will do it." 1 thessalonians 5:24

"trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding, in all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your path." proverbs 3:5-6

"and without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him." hebrews 11:6

"...yet he[abraham] did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He promised." romans 4:20

"...and we boast in the hope of the glory of God. not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us." romans 5:2-5

"for in this hope we were saved. but hope that is seen is no hope at all. who hopes for what they already have? but if we hope for what we do not yet have, we wait for it patiently." romans 8:24-25

so, yeah. am i glad God knocked over my seemingly well-placed cards? absolutely! at first it sucked. like, ugh God, what are you doing?! you're messing my plans! but what a privilege to go on an adventure with the Lord, to get to see the story He originally intended roll out in chapters, beautifully unfold! i know the highest form of holiness is the release of my will to submit to God's will. the legends in the Bible had a waiting season before the ripening of their purpose, and this is mine. i know i've chosen right. so though a lil bit of anxiety plays out in this chapter, that's ok, cos i'm riding on the wings of faith, and i know Love will have the final word. 

sorrow may close the chapter, but the story will end with laughter~ jason gray

has God had you in a free fall season before? how did it go?

xoxo, gen delali.

music monday// let mercy hold you

so, you may be wandering through a season where you've been waiting on the promises God has spoken to your heart. and honestly, it's been a while and you want them to manifest already! and it seems the more you wait, the more it looks like it's taking forever for those precious promises to bloom in your life. i would know, cause He has me waiting for some beautiful things. and sometimes i wish i could wish myself away to where He's promised and be doing what He's told me i'll be doing, and be with the people He said i will be with. but winter must come before spring births a new beginning.

oh, and i know the journey also counts. there's so much lessons He's teaching me along the journey. and they can be such tough lessons. but i know i'm being strengthened and prepared for the next phase which promises to be so beautiful. so for now, i'm gonna take it a day at a time, sing my heart out, turn the weariness into wonderful written art, and keep on praying. i'm being taught patience and trust. 

this song has been a source of comfort for me countless times.

let mercy hold you~ jason crabb

when the road is winding through the darkness 

and the load is heavy as your heart is now, 

and you're full of doubt.

when your prayers are crashing into silence

and you're scared that everything you're crying out is gonna hit the ground.

every night is holding back a sunrise

every storm is shadowing a blue sky.

i know it's hard when there's nothing that you can do

just let mercy hold you.

it's in the midst of knowing that you're helpless

when you're left waiting on the promise

and you don't understand.

so let the valley teach you how to sing

and still believe grace is everything you need.

it's only here, you'll see.

that every night is holding back a sunrise

every storm is shadowing a blue sky.

i know it's hard when there's nothing that you can do

there's a cross reaching to the furthest place

there's a love nothing in the world can change.

in it all, one thing will carry you through

so let mercy hold you.

joy is coming in the morning, you just gotta wait for the dawn to break

joy is coming in the morning, don't lose hope.

"...weeping may endure for a night but joy comes in the morning." psalm 30:5

"the Lord is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer, my God is my rock, in whom i take refuge, my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold." psalm 18:2

"the Lord is my strength and my shield, my heart trusts in Him, and He helps me. my heart leaps for joy, and with my song i praise Him." psalm 28:7

"but let all who take refuge in you be glad, let them ever sing for joy. spread your protection over them, that those who love Your name may rejoice in You." psalm 5:11

"...do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength." nehemiah 8:10

with each waking morning and drifting eve, i know i'm climbing out of the valley to the mountain top. no matter how slow the pace, i will keep on moving in Christ. every day that passes by moves me a little closer to sweet bliss. if you're in a valley waiting on the Lord, be courageous. do not lose hope.

xoxo, gen delali

Waiting in hope

Hi guys! So, I’ve been a lil MIA huh. Well, I’m here now. :)

For many years, I’ve waited. Waited on the Lord for His promises to take root in my life and bloom. Sometimes it seems as if it’s going to take forever for what I pray for to show up, while other times without a beat, God faithfully answers my silent prayers. (yeah, including the ones I'm too embarrassed to say. *facepalm*)

“But I will hope continually, and will yet praise thee more and more.” Psalm 71:14

I’ve prayed and waited for big things. Big things like...

Healing and good health when I was particularly ill some years ago. Like, weird, serious sick when the doctors couldn’t figure out what was wrong, and yet I miraculously got healed. Praise Jesus.

A change of heart on a particular night when I knelt in prayer & for real laid it all at Jesus’ feet and surrendered, as hot tears trickled down. I rededicated this life of mine back to its Creator, the one who knows best. The most important decision ever I’ve made is to accept Jesus as my very own sweet Savior. This is a daily wait, a daily dying to self as God purifies me & plucks out all the weeds in my heart.

Provision for school...for mission trips.

My sanity. (The kind of crazy I deal with aint easy, people!)

Good friendships... for a heart that refuses to give up on healthy, Godly friendships despite some of the rotten ones I’ve had. Aint cool when friendships end up being one-sided and, I don’t know about you but I don’t dig being the third wheel either. Ya feel me? It’s not friendship when they try to make you beg for their attention.

Good grades.

My undergraduate studies. I’m thankful I graduated successfully after four looong years!

 

“So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth;
It shall not return to Me void,
But it shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it.” Isaiah 55:11

And I’ve waited and prayed for ‘little’ things like...

Not snoozing the alarm when it goes off and actually getting my sleepy self to rouse.

A good night’s rest.

The rain holding up on a day I forget my umbrella.

Getting a seat on the bus early, to avoid too much hassle.

Hoping the food i just ate isn't sticking in between my teeth. 

The soles of my shoes not wearing out too fast, cos God knows I do lotsss of walking lately, especially on work days. (I’m serious guys.)

And the list goes on...

As I’m thankful to God for answering most of my prayers, new prayers are making their way up to Him. And all I can do is wait. 

“But if we hope for what we see not, then do we with patience wait for it.” Romans 8:24

In this season of my life, God is reminding me to wait in hope. No matter how fast I wish and pray for my one year mandatory service of work to my country to end, I’ll just have to wait. Why do I want it to end you ask? Cos what I’m doing is not really my passion, and of course, the allowance is nothing to talk of. You can barely save from it. The government aint paying well for the hours I put in and it totally drives me nuts knowing that I could be somewhere else on the globe, and making more for the same amount of hours I’m putting in. It’s like my labour isn’t valued, and that’s.not.cool. So you see, low motivation right there. But like you wait for a convenient time to give in to that bad itch in that super awkward spot, I will wait and work as though I’m working for the Lord. This too shall pass.

“Rejoicing in hope, patient in tribulation, continuing instant in prayer.” Romans 12:12

 

I’m praying big, adult prayers...I’m trusting God, like reaaallly trusting Him to honor the prayers I pray for my Godly man. I’m waiting in hope, leaving God to write out my love story, believing that at His right and perfect time, the man He knows deserves my heart will come and really pursue me, and I wouldn’t have to compete or beg for his love. I’m trusting that wherever on this earth he may be, our paths and stories will intertwine in God’s time. Because really, in God’s time, He makes ALL things beautiful. It may seem like a fantasy or even wishful thinking to believe that a man who loves Jesus with all His heart exists and is somewhere also waiting to meet me, to love on me, but it’s oh, so real. I’m walking by faith, not by sight so...

 I will wait in hope.

“Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1

For all the dreams & plans I have for my future, I’m leaving the details to my Father, whose thoughts are higher and waayyyy better than mine. I’m in safe hands. 

“Blessed is the man that trusts in the Lord, and whose hope is the Lord. For he shall be like a tree planted by the waters, which spreads out its roots by the river, and will not fear when heat comes; but its leaf will be green, and will not be anxious in the year of drought, nor will cease from yielding fruit.” Jeremiah 17:7,8

The wait isn’t easy. The wait is tough, it’s hard, scary even. But it’s going to be so SO worth it.

And like John Waller rightfully says,

I will serve You while I’m waiting,
I will worship while I’m waiting.

Wait on the Lord. xoxo 

Delali.

To the single ladies...upon valentine

So, valentines day is just around the corner and most singles out there are probably dreading it. You see, valentine’s day is the time when we singles are reminded full blast of our singleness . We find couples who seriously display their affection for each other on this day a little (a little? LOL) irritating, as if they’re purposefully rubbing it in our faces that we’re forever lonely. However, I personally don’t view being single as a lonely period as the world would have us believe. I see it as my alone time, my special time in life where I get to enjoy God without any distractions. This is the time the only man who gets my full attention is Christ, my bridegroom, my forever Valentine “...for I betrothed you to Christ to present you as a pure bride to her one husband.” 2 Corinthians 11:2

Sure, a couple of wrong guys got my attention along the way and I came to realize after the heartaches that I don’t need to keep doing this to myself. I’m leaving my love story into the hands of my Creator. After all He made me and He knows the man who’s best suited and worthy of my attention and commitment.. I’ve resolved to stay fully committed to Christ until (and even after) that Godly man I pray to my Father for comes and pursues me as he should. “He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor from the Lord.” Proverbs 18:22  (Note that it's not she who finds a husband.) Stop trying to woo that guy or trying to get him to like you! If he likes you, he’ll want to be friends and pursue you in a Godly manner like the princess that you are. (Always remember your Father is the King of kings. :D )

If you’re single, this valentine, do not let all the sappy show of affection make you feel any less loved and happy. You are a child of God, and married to Christ right now. (Not that you abandon Him once you’re blessed with a Godly relationship. I hope you get my drift.) Decide that you’re not going to get you a cheap fix, some guy to while away the time so you don’t feel ‘lonely’. News flash: you don’t need a guy to make you happy! This is a truth I’m constantly waking up to. Seriously, we don’t need a guy to tell us the ‘perfect words’, heavily sugar coated and dripping with tooth decaying sweetness before we know we are beautiful and special.  Song of Solomon 1:15 says “Behold, you are beautiful, my love; behold, you are beautiful; your eyes are doves. Our identity is not found in a guy, it never was and never is. Our identity is firmly found in Christ, our bridegroom. Only the love of Christ makes us whole. Not some guy or some stuff.

Sometimes we tend to fill the void within us with all sorts of things that only rip us off of our peace and true happiness. That guy, the booze, that temporary high, the wild, crazy party life ...all these things are not going to give you guaranteed, lasting happiness. Only Christ can fill that void, that emptiness. He’s longing for you to come to Him and have a deep relationship with Him. One that is full of wisdom and blissful joy.  John 3:29 says” He who has the bride is the bridegroom; the friend of the bridegroom, who stands and hears Him, rejoices greatly at the bridegroom’s voice; therefore this joy of mine is now full.”

 This valentine, as the television is full of lovey-dovey movies/shows, as couples affectionately show their love for each other, remember that you are dearly loved by someone special who suffered and died for your sake... Jesus. Remember that valentine’s day is not necessarily for couples only. You have family and friends who love you. You should as well let them know you love them too. (Showing affection to loved ones shouldn’t be limited to just valentine’s day. It should be a daily thing.)

 

 Show affection and kindness to a friend, a homeless person and even to yourself. Instead of expecting to receive a bouquet, a box full of heart shaped chocolates, cards or receiving special treatment, do something different. Give instead. Pamper yourself. Treat yourself to some ice cream, some chocolates. Fix yourself some mouth watering dish, polish your nails, dance to some praise tunes. You don’t have to wait on some person to make you feel loved or happy. When your happiness is based on a human, it’s never really guaranteed. You need to create your own happiness and sunshine. Take your sunshine with you this valentine and the many days beyond, knowing that God, who’s Light, is the source of your shine.

 Most importantly, as a single, spend some time on this love day with God. Have a date with Him! This may sound ridiculous but hear me out. A date with God is setting time aside for only you and Him. Get familiar with your bridegroom, Jesus, by reading about Him and understanding and believing the wonderful truths He speaks about your life. Don’t see God as some distant Father, no. Establish a true relationship with Him and draw closer to Him. Journal about Him, pour out your heart to Him in prayer, meditate on the Word. Have some beautiful worship songs playing softly and when you feel a praise break coming, let it. Our Father loves for us to sing to Him. :-)

My dear single friends, this valentine, refuse to wallow in sadness and self-pity. Say no to sad, sappy chick flicks that leave you crying. Say no to stupid love songs that break your heart all over again with every single note... songs which bring memories of old that steal your joy. Say no to that fling! Hit ‘ignore’ for that booty call! You’re certainly not some piece of meat and you shouldn’t allow yourself to be reduced to such insignificance. You are a beautiful soul that deserves to be loved in an honorable way. Refuse to let in the carnal passions that keep knocking at your hearts door. Learn how to say NO! Don’t be a wandering soul who keeps looking for validation in men. What you don’t realize is you’re losing pieces of yourself in all those relationships... Dear one, keep in mind that sexual relations outside of marriage does not in any way equate to the true purity and beauty of love. A person that knows God knows how to genuinely love, because God is love... and love is patient in all things.

“Love is patient and kind; love is not jealous or boastful, it is not arrogant or rude. Love does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrong, but rejoices in the right. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

“That you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world.” Philippians 2:15

 Dear friend, decide not to be part of the people that give themselves away around this period. Know your worth in Christ. Pray for a Godly man, believing that God is preparing him specially for you, just as He’s willing to guide you to also prepare yourself for your man while single. Don’t give up on love, no. Don’t push/force it to happen either. Practice some patience (I need a good doze of it, don’t we all? LOL), have some more faith. Love will find you where you are. And oh, what joy will that day bring, when you finally meet the right man who’ll come boldly and yet gently to pursue your beautiful heart. You’ll both fall sweetly and deeply in love with each other. You’ll love each other, flaws and all. You’ll be imperfectly perfect.

“I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, that you stir not up nor awaken love until it please.” Song of Solomon 8:4

 Embrace your singlehood dearie. You are worthy of a true gentleman, a man after God’s heart, who’s modelled after Jesus, the best gentleman ever to walk the surface of this earth. So save yourself all the drama and heartache and purposefully establish a deep relationship with Jesus while you’re single. I have come to believe He’s my rock, my ride or die... He’s the only One who truly has our backs. His love is an unadulterated, unconditional love that makes us whole. 
 

“And you have come to fullness of life in Him, who is the head of all rule and authority.” Colossians 2:10 

 “Jesus turned, and seeing her He said “Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.”” Matthew 9:22

 Don’t you want Jesus to heal your brokenness and make you whole? I bet you do. So this valentine, share affection with your mom, pray for that homeless person... put on some red lipstick, pour yourself some good drink, and have a date with your ultimate bridegroom, Jesus.

“Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.” Philippians 4:8

You’re dearly loved darling! xoxo

Delali.